


Roommates

by 221BSexySt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Angst, But they switch, College AU, Fingerfucking, Homophobic Language, Human Castiel, Living Together, Love/Hate, M/M, Masturbation, Parental Abuse, Romance, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Top!Cas, Unrequited Love, bottom!Dean, mentions of - Freeform, slight nipple play, so idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221BSexySt/pseuds/221BSexySt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is head over heels for his best friend Sam Winchester. But when Cas is faced with the dilemma of having no place to live while going to college, Sam being the great guy that he is, suggests that Castiel move in with his brother, Dean. Which is tiresome to say the least. Dean is arrogant, loud, intrusive and he makes fun of Castiel. Will Cas be able to get Sam to fall for him? Or instead will he fall for Dean? Or will they just be...Roommates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Living Out of My Car

“What do you mean there are no more dorm room’s left?” Castiel squinted with suspicion at the man who sat behind the safety of the glass.

“Sorry sir, they’re all filled up. You should have come here sooner. ” Replied the man with a shrug. Castiel’s frown deepened.

“You don’t understand, I _need_ a dorm room.”  Castiel almost growled. The man behind the counter flinched at the unexpected hostility of the normally calm student. Castiel glared at the man, he _had_ to get a dorm; he couldn’t afford anything else. Not to mention that **_he_** was going to be living in a dorm.

“S-Sorry there isn’t any rooms empty right now. We can put you on a waiting list if you w-want.” The man let out a nervous laugh.

Castiel scowled but nodded.

“Fine.”  He said begrudgingly then he turned away from the desk and headed down the long hall toward the exit.

_Well, this was just **great.**_ Castiel thought sarcastically. _How am I supposed to get close to Sam **now?** _

Sam Winchester. What could one say about Sam? Well, he was perfect, at least in the eyes of Castiel Novak. The brown haired, blue eyed young man had met Sam last year when he had just started going to the same college. They had a Religious Studies class together, and from the first time he had seen Sam, Castiel knew he was head over heels for him. They had soon become good friends and Castiel was pining _hard_ , but secretly of course. They had spent most of their free time hanging out, studying and going to parties (which Castiel wasn’t too fond of, but if Sam was there then he could deal with the loud music and drunk girls.) Sam was intellectual, mature, witty, kind and above all open-minded. Which was perfect for Castiel when he told his best friend that he was gay. Sam had been totally fine with Castiel’s preference for guys, almost like he had already been through a situation like this…

_Maybe **Sam** was gay.  _ Castiel had thought. He shook his head at the stupid notion, which _continued_ to poke at his brain, as he walked down the front steps of the administrative office.

_That is ridiculous. Sam has a **girlfriend.** Besides, even if he was gay, he wouldn’t look at me like that. We’re friends. _

“Just friends.”  He sighed. 

Castiel soon found himself in his car again with all of his junk, and nowhere to go. So he did the only thing he could think of. He called his friend.  

“Hey, Sam?” Castiel asked in his gravelly voice.

“Oh, hey Castiel! What’s up? You get your room yet?”  Sam asked cheerfully.

“Actually, no.”  Castiel sighed.

“ There were no more dorms when I arrived.”  He added solemnly.

“Oh, man. I’m sorry, that really sucks.” Castiel could hear the sympathy in Sam’s voice.

“What are you gonna do? Do you have any other options?”

“Not particularly, no. I’m at a loss really. ” Castiel said in a low, distraught voice. There was a momentary pause and then Sam spoke up again.

“Well, if you are looking for an apartment, I may have one for you.”

Castiel perked up at this for a moment, and then frowned yet again.

“But I don’t have much moeny for an apartment.” Castiel said.

“Well, you’d be sharing rent. And you can always get a job at the library or something. What do you think?”  Sam offered. Castiel thought a moment, he didn’t particularly like the idea of living with a stranger in a strange house, but then again, isn’t that basically a dorm? So he figured it couldn’t be _too_ bad. He nodded slowly and asked quietly.  

“Okay, who would be my roommate?”

~*~*~

Castiel was always a quiet person, an introvert, if you will. And even though Sam was more outgoing than Castiel, it seemed that the taller man could always relate to Castiel’s quite manner, on a level that no one else even dared to compare to, in Castiel’s eyes. Part of the reason that Castiel wasn’t as sociable as Sam was that Castiel was inept when it came to talking to people. He didn’t even try to hide it at this point.  He just wasn’t up to date with all the slang, and movies, and tv shows, so he always felt a bit out of place in big crowds of people.

Still, Castiel was desperate, so when Sam suggested that he move in with his brother Dean, Castiel didn’t say no. However when Sam and him got to the apartment and he _met_ Sam’s brother, he sort of wished he _had_ said no.

“Hey there Sammy, long time no see!” Dean grinned widely as Sam and Castiel entered the apartment. In actuality though, it was more like a loft. It was a very open space, and Castiel seen only two doors, which he feared meant there was only _one_ real bedroom. The two brothers hugged and Castiel stood awkwardly off to the side with his hands clasped together tightly.

At first glance Dean didn’t _seem_ so bad, he seemed like a generally happy person, and he seemed to love his brother. Castiel looked around and suddenly got the shivers. But he was _definitely_ not a very _clean_ person. There was clothes, and magazines, and dishes all _over_ the place. It was, to say the least, terrifying.

“Dean, I said we were coming over, why didn’t you clean up?” Sam grumbled. Castiel smiled and was glade, yet again, that Sam knew how he thought.

“I _did_ clean up Sammy. See? I picked up the trash…” They all looked around a moment.

“Okay, I picked up _some_ of the trash.” Dean chuckled to himself. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Dean, I’d like you to meet Castiel. Castiel this is my brother Dean.” Sam said. Cas nodded and outstretched his hand to the older brother.

“It’s nice to meet you Dean, Sam has told me a lot about you.” Castiel said. Dean took his hand and looked him in the eyes. Dean had a very becoming set of vibrant green eyes. And Castiel could see the resemblance between him and Sam, they were both very handsome. One could maybe even get lost in those eyes they were so -

“Castiel huh? Sounds like some kind of STD.” Laughes Dean. Castiel instantly snaps out of whatever day-dream he was currently in.

“What?” He asked with a certain edge to his voice.

“I dunno, it just sounds…weird, that’s all.” Dean said with a smirk. Castiel scowls then.

“For your information my name is derived from The Angel of Thursday from the _bible.”_ Castiel replied bitterly. Dean feigned mock terror.

“Sorry there buddy, did I hit a nerve there?” Dean asked.

“No, I just think that was a bit rude, especially for us meeting for the first time. You don’t even know me.” Castiel spoke crisply as he tried _desperately_ not to yell at Sam’s older brother.

“You know, that is _so true._ Let me get to know you. Here’s a question, do you have a crush on my brother?” Dean asked with a smug grin. Castiel’s eyes grew in horror.

“Dean, knock it off.” Sam snapped.

“I’m sorry Castiel, he’s normally not this much of an asshole. Dean, stop jerking around, Castiel and I are just friends.” Sam said with annoyance.

“Are you sure that Cas here feels the same way?” Dean inquired with a smile.

“My name is not _Cas.”_  Castiel spat.

“And I don’t think I can room with someone who is _this_ big of a Neanderthal.” Castiel added and then turned sharply and left the apartment.

Castiel moved quickly and got into the elevator before Sam could catch up. Castiel just needed a moment to himself. He couldn’t really look Sam in the face right now.

“How could that…that _assbutt_ know how I felt about Sam? He _just_ met me! How could he see through my feelings that fast?! This is ridiculous! He had no right to criticize my name! _Or_ dig into my relationship with Sam…or lack thereof…” Castiel frowned. Just thinking about Dean’s face made him want to punch the elevator wall.

“I AM NOT GOING TO ROOM WITH THAT MAN IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO.”

 ~*~*~

“I have to room with Dean.” Castiel almost cried when he said this to his brother Gabriel, whom yes, was also named after an angel.

“Dean who?”  Gabe asked as he drank his cola. The brother’s had stopped to get some food at a local diner after Gabe got out of work. It had been a week and a half since the incident at the older Winchester’s house and Castiel was still no closer to getting an apartment he could afford. His only option now was Dean, because frankly Castiel didn’t want to continue living out of his car.

“He’s Sam’s older brother. And he’s a nuisance to society. He’s loud, abrasive, cocky, rude, and _nothing_ like Sam, save for maybe his looks.” Castiel grumbled.

“Sam? The guy you have a mega crush on? _That_ Sam?” Gabe asked.

“ _Yes Gabriel. **That** Sam.” _  Castiel said through clenched teeth.

“Huh, well he can’t be _that_ bad, if he’s related to the guy of your dreams, right?”

“You weren’t there Gabe. He was…He made fun of my name…”

“That’s not unusual, lots of people have made fun of your name before.” Gabe replied eating a french fry. Castiel glared at his brother half-heartily.

“Yeah, but this time it was different, I don’t know how to explain it… Maybe he was adopted.” Castiel said as an afterthought, he then took a big bite out of his hamburger and made a “mmm” sound.  

“You said they looked alike though.” Gabe pointed out. Castiel looked up at him. It was true, they both held many of the same features. But Sam’s eyes were a golden brown compared to Dean’s which were a crisp green color. Castiel found that he was staring off into the distance thinking of drowning in pools of browns and greens when Gabe snapped him out of it with a good slap on the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for Gabriel?”

“You looked like you were having dirty fantasies, and it’s not very nice to have those kinds of fantasies in front of your brother…without telling him the juicy details.” Gabe grinned. Castiel scoffed.

“Don’t be a pervert.”

“Still, are you sure about rooming with this Dean guy? I mean, can you handle living there? Will he even let you live there now?”

“I’m not sure. Of anything, but I’m running out of options here Gabe.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks, I think I’m going to need it.”

*~*~*


	2. Guess This Makes Us Roomies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, I had a lot of school and job related things to do. UGH. anywho, hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter in this week. *crosses fingers*

The ride in the elevator felt longer to Castiel rather than only a measly 25 seconds. He was still desperately trying to figure out a reason for him not to do this, for a better option.  But he honestly had no other choice, or at least this is the only one that presented itself to him presently. So he decided when he reached Dean’s front door that he would try to reasonably talk to Dean and convince him that Castiel was his best option for a roommate and if he couldn’t do that, then…

“ _Under no circumstances will I beg my case to that Neanderthal_ _.”_ Castiel said to himself in a resolved tone. _But what if he doesn’t agree? Then what do I do?_ He thought as he approached the door.

Before Castiel had the chance to even knock, the door swung open to reveal a tall brunette woman, her hair was mussed and practically screamed “ _I just had wild sex_ ”.

“Oh! I’m sorry.” She said in surprise, as she almost ran into Castiel. Her eyes were a sparkling blue, they were lighter than Castiel’s own eyes but he thought they suited the young lady well. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at him, but then she turned back to look at something. Castiel followed her gaze to Dean, who now stood in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his lower half, no shirt, and dampened hair. Dean grinned at her and kissed her on the cheek.

“Call me.” She said with a small smile and a wave. Then she squeezed past Castiel and headed toward the elevator. Dean leaned over a bit to watch her walk away. Castiel rolled his eyes, annoyance practically oozing from his pores.

“So.” Dean begins looking over at Castiel.

“Whatcha doin here? I thought you didn’t want to room with a…What did you call me? _Assbutt?”_ Dean asked looking Cas up and down. Castiel blushed a bit and frowned at the other man.

 _“_ You do realize that that name is kinda redundant, right?” Dean chuckled leaning on the door frame. While Castiel was completely infuriated by this deviant he couldn’t help but briefly glance at his Dean’s biceps as they moved to cross in front of Dean’s body.

“I do not typically get mad enough to insult someone, so I am not savvy in the way of hurting one’s feeling unlike _some_ people.” Castiel said crisply, glaring at him in the eyes.

“Haha, I can only imagine who you must be talking about… So are you here to stare at my arms or you gonna come inside?” Dean said gesturing for Castiel to come in. Castiel refrained from the urge to punch Dean in the face and walked into the apartment.

“Wanna beer or somethin’?” Dean asked as Castiel slowly makes his way toward the sofa.

“I don’t drink.” Was the curt reply.

“Figures.” Dean mumbled as he got into his fridge and pulled one out for himself.

“So I’m guessing you’re here to beg for me to let you live here?” Dean called out as he opened his beer and took a drink of it. Castiel glared at Dean again.

“Are you not going to put on any clothes before we start this conversation?” He replied bitterly, trying not to rake his eyes over Dean’s upper torso. He had to admit the Winchester brothers had a very similar build.

“Why? Does this make you uncomfortable? Or maybe it's arousing...hmmm, well, I don’t know if I can live with another dude that will ogle me every chance he gets. I’m nobody’s eye candy.”  Dean grinned smugly. Castiel rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“That’s for sure.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean said gruffly, putting a hand on his hip.

“Nothing, I just think you might be overestimating your looks. Maybe it’s because you tend to pick up women with no standards?” Castiel ventures. _It's my turn to act smug now._  Dean just got a hard look on his face and stared at Cas.

“You’re lucky that you’re Sammy’s best friend, otherwise…”

“Otherwise what? You’d beat me up? Yes, you’re not a Neanderthal at all, my mistake.” Castiel said sarcastically and frowned.

“You know what? I don’t need this crap. You can go live in a box for all I care, adios amigo. Don’t let the front door hit you on the way out.” Dean turned away and took another drink of his beer.

_Oh…Oh no. This isn’t good... I shouldn’t have said that…Why did I say that?! Ugh, he’s just so infuriating!! He is NOTHING like Sam!!! Get a hold of yourself Castiel, we can fix this._

“Ahem,” Castiel cleared his throat. There was a moment when neither of them said anything then, after what seemed like forever, Castiel spoke up again.

“This isn’t how I wanted this to go.” He admitted quietly.

“Yeah, well that’s not my fault.” Dean said stiffly not looking at the other man.

 ** _Actually,_** _it kind of **is** your fault. _ Castiel thought. But he didn’t dare say that right now.

“Yes, well. I apologize, my last comment might have been a bit out of line.” Castiel replied. Dean slowly glanced over at Cas. A small smile began to form on Dean's face. 

“I don’t know man, I don’t think just an apology will cut it.”

Castiel stared at Dean and Dean stared back. In a single moment he was completely swept up in his eyes. Castiel seen something…behind those tough exterior looks there was something else.  For some reason Castiel could tell that Dean was trying to hide the pain that Castiel did actually cause him. Or maybe Castiel was just seeing what he _wanted_ to see. Wishful thinking and all. Either way Castiel felt bad.

“What else can I do?” Castiel asked, still staring at Dean.

“Oh, I don’t know there’s a lot of things you could do. What kind of talents do ya have?” Dean smiled his trade-mark seductive smile, it was more of a defense mechnicism than anything. 

“I’m…uh…good on my hands and knees.” Cas said as he stared deep into Dean’s eyes. He was trying to figure out what Dean was feeling. What he was _thinking? Wait…Were his eyes dilating?_

“Really?” Dean cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah…Um.. I’m really good at cleaning the floors. I’m good at cleaning in general, really.”  Castiel added. Dean let out a breath and broke eye contact. 

“Then you can stay here if you do all the housework.” Dean said as he took another drink of beer.

“Really? Are you serious? Oh my Lord, thank you. I swear I will clean the entire place! Phew.  Honestly, I was a bit scared you wouldn’t let me stay here.” Castiel smiled as relief fell over him.

“Well, I kinda had to let you stay, I made a promise to Sammy that I would.” Dean said with a shrug.

“Wait…What?” Castiel looked over at Dean with a scowl.

“Yeah, I had to let you live here no matter what.”

“B-but you…the housework?”

“Hey now, we made a deal, too. You swore you would clean in exchange for living here.”

“What? No! I’m not going to do that if you had to let me live here anyways!”

“Yeah, you’re right, but just so you know, if you do go back on your word, I might just pile all my trash on you in the middle of the night when you least expect it…” Dean replied.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Castiel seethed. 

“Wouldn’t I?” Dean grinned. 

_Oh Lord…He would…_


	3. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thar! xD So...I am LOVING the comments, so PLEASE keep them coming. And hopefully the next chapter will be up somewhat soon. :)

It took Castiel a good three hours to get all of his things out of his car and into Dean’s apartment. _It probably would have taken less time if the big imbecile that is my so called roommate, oh I don’t know offered to **help.**_ Castiel thought bitterly as he organized his boxes in the living room. The living room was next to the little kitchen area, and farther on there were two doors. One was the bathroom, the door closer to the kitchen and the other was the bedroom.  Dean sat on the couch now, which faced away from the kitchen and towards a nice, big flat screen tv. Some show was on that Castiel didn’t recognize, something about hot doctor’s. Castiel came in with the rest of his things and stood next to Dean with an annoyed expression when the other man didn’t even bother to look up.

“So, where do I sleep?” Castiel inquired as he noisily dropped the last box next to Dean’s feet, which in turn made Dean jump.

“Wha-?” Dean looked up startled and confused then looked Cas up and down.

“Oh, yeah.” He jumps up with a smile and gestures toward the couch.

“All the comforts of home.”

“Are you being serious with me?” Cas looked over at Dean, eyeing him.

“Course, this couch is _way_ more comfy than it seems.” Dean grinned.

“So where do I put my clothes? Or my books?”  Castiel asked looking around squinting.

“Well, uh... I can make room on the dvd shelf for your books.” Dean said as he quickly goes over to the shelf and takes a few porn movies out. Castiel slowly follows him to the shelf and looks at the dvd’s.

“Ah yes, I’ll just put my Philosophy books between…  Busty Asian Beauties go to Miami Beach and…” Cas tilts his head to read the other title.

“Busty Asian Beauties go to Barbados.”  Castiel replied with an un-amused face.

“Hey now, those are some classics.” Dean retorted pointing to the dvd’s.

“Fine, I guess I have no real choice. But what about my clothing?” Castiel replied motioning to show that he had two suitcases by the couch.

“Guess you’ll just have to use my closet.” Dean shrugs.

“It’s not like I use it all that much anyways…” He adds while chuckling.

“What is that supposed to mean? Does that mean you walk around naked??” Cas stares at him with horrified eyes.

“Well, I never had to deal with a roommate before now, so uh, yeah.” Dean smiles.

“What…How…Why?? What is the point?” Cas askes.

“Don’t you ever just need to let it all hang out?” Dean asks as he wiggles his hips around for a fuller affect.

“Ugh, NO…Just please don’t do that while **I’m** around.”

“I can promise nothing.” Dean said as he turned toward the bedroom. Cas sighed once Dean entered his room.

“This is going to more difficult then I imagined it would be.”

~*~*~

1 week Later

“GABRIEL, I CANNOT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS.” Castiel flops dramatically onto his brother’s hotel bed.

“Sorry lil bro.” Gabe replied as he reached into the mini fridge for some chocolate ice cream.

“If my place wasn’t being fumigated I’d let you stay there with me, but it’s gonna be a while. The owners want to do the entire apartment complex, which could take a few weeks.”

“I know, I just…Okay, so the very first day he cons me into being responsible for all the cleaning then I find out he promised Sam that I could live there no matter what so then he _blackmails_ me into cleaning. THEN, he didn’t even bother to help me move all of my things into the apartment he just sat on the couch drinking his beer watching that _stupid_ doctor show of his and…”

“Wait, are you talking about Doctor Sexy M.D.? That’s a great show.” Gabe replied with a smile as he sits next to his brother.

“Not helping Gabriel…” Castiel glares at his brother.

“Oh, heh heh. Sorry, continue your rant please.” Gabe replied. Castiel nods and continues.

“So not to mention all of that, but I must sleep on the _couch_ , which isn’t so bad in itself, except for the fact that he comes into the living room in the middle of the night, _every_ night, turns on the kitchen light and starts eating _pie_ at 2am! Who does that?!” Castiel throws his arms in the air and lets them fall over his eyes. 

“You know what you need?” Gabriel says taking a bite of ice cream.

“For someone to put me out of my misery?” Castiel suggests. Gabe chuckles.

“No, you need to go loosen up. You should got to a bar and just relax. Maybe invite Sam and Jess?” Gabe says.

“Uh, Gabe the last thing I really want to do is go to a noisy bar full of people I don’t know and watch the man I have a crush on make out with his girlfriend in a corner booth.”

“Still, it would be good for you to go out and relax. From what I understand you can’t really relax at home with Dean there, and isn’t being with Sam and his girlfriend better than hanging with Dean all night?”

Castiel thought about this a moment.

“I’ll give Sam a call.”

“Good, I’ll give Balthazar a call.”

“How is your boyfriend anyways?” Castiel replied pulling out his phone.

“I don’t know, we’re going through a rough patch…” Gabe says as he eats a bit spoon full of ice cream.

“That bad, huh?” Cas says eyeing the spoon.

“Shut up and call your crush.”  Gabe says defiantly.

~*~*~

“So Balthazar can’t come.” Gabe says somberly as he and Castiel stand outside the Roadhouse, a local college bar.

“Sam said he is bringing Jess.” Cas replied with the same somber attitude.

“Well…tonight should be fun then.” Gabe said sarcastically. Castiel put his hands in his trench coat pockets and looked around for the Sam’s car. All of a sudden a black ’67 Chevy Impala speeds into the parking lot and almost runs Castiel over.

“Hey watch it!” Gabe yells at the driver. The car parks and out of the passenger side steps out Sam.

“Oh…” Castiel says in realization.

“ _Oh_ _no_ …” He adds as the driver door opens and out steps the reason Castiel was out at a stupid bar in the first place. Castiel frowns and looks back over at Sam who is smiling at him, which makes instantly makes him feel better. Castiel smiles a small smile as he watches Sam shut the door. No one else is getting out of that metal death trap…Does that mean Jess wasn’t here?

“So that’s Sam?” Gabe whispers into Castiel’s ear.

“Yes…” Castiel smiles with pride.

“I can tell what you see in him.” Gabe replies with a look of awe.

“I know.”  Castiel replies as the Winchester brothers approach.

“Hey Castiel, sorry we’re a bit late, Jess had some school work so she couldn’t make it, and I was talking to Dean and he said he wouldn’t mind coming out and hanging so I said why not? I hope you don’t mind.” Sam said.

“No, of course not. I actually um…this is my brother Gabriel.”

“Hey, call me Gabe.” Gabe outstretched his hand to Sam who took it and shook it.

“Nice firm handshake.” Gabe said half under his breath.

“Hey there Cas.” Dean said with a mocking grin as he put his hands into his leather jacket pockets.

“I said, don’t call me that.” Castiel said through clenched teeth.

“Ah, relax. We’re here to have fun, right?” Dean smiled. Castiel stared at him. Just then Sam slung his arm around Castiel’s shoulder.

“Right.” Sam said as he led his best friend into the bar.

“Right.” Cas added looking up at Sam. 


	4. One, Two, Three Shots... You're OUT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i am still LOVING the comments they make me feel all fuzzy inside. :3 I hope you guys like this chapter!

The four men enter the Roadhouse and easily find a booth. Sam sits down with a flop and drags Castiel into the booth with him. Dean then gets in across the table from Sam and Gabe sits next to Dean.

“Come on Castiel, take off your trench, we’re gonna be here a while.” Sam said smiling as he waved for a waitress to come over. Castiel awkwardly did as he was told and shrugged out of his trench coat. Underneath he wore a blue sweater vest and jeans. As soon as he got the coat off, Castiel heard a scoff from the other side of the table. He looked at Gabe who gave a wide look and shook his head while pointing to Dean who held a smirk as he stared at Castiel.

“Do you have something to say?” Castiel said a bit tired of Dean’s antics. At this point Dean’s jest about his name and such became second nature. Which was a bit depressing for Castiel.

“Nothin, I just…Sam said you batted for the other team so I assumed you knew how to dress. Apparently that stereotype is case sensitive.” Dean chuckled.

“Dean, really?” Sam rolled his eyes briefly as he was still trying to get a waiter to come to their table.

“No it’s fine Sam. What’s wrong with the way I dress?” Castiel asked with an unreadable expression, which to be honest, kind of messed with Dean’s confidence. Not that he let that show at all.

“Heh heh, are you kidding me? Sorry to break this to ya, but no guy is gonna go for the “nerdy school boy” look.” Dean chuckled. Just then a waiter came to the table, a young man with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. He smiled at everyone at the table and turned to Castiel first to take his order.

“So what can I get for you lovely gentlemen.” Said the waiter with a big grin directed at Castiel.

“Um, well… I would just like a coke.” Cas smiled shyly as the waiter wrote down the order.

“Wow, it’s rare to see a guy who doesn’t drink at our age. I admire that.” Replied the waiter. At this point Dean just stares at the waiter coldly until he gets through everyone’s orders and leaves.

“You were saying?” Gabe chuckles as Dean glared at Castiel, who now was holding a triumphant smile.

“It was a fluke.” Dean replied in monotone. Still staring at Castiel.

“And for your information I am not _looking_ for a relationship right now anyways. I need to focus on school.” Castiel replied looking away from Dean’s stare.

“Yeah, well it’s kind of hard to look for other people when you’re hung up on someone already, am I right?” Dean snuck a glance at Sam who was now quietly talking on the phone with presumably, Jess. Castiel shot a glance over at Sam and then looked back at Dean with furrowed brows.

“How do you know what gay men are into these days anyways? Are you gay?” Castiel snapped. Dean froze and didn’t say a word. He just stares at Cas with almost fear stricken eyes, but he quickly recovers not a second later and smiles.

“Course not, but anyone can tell that you stole that outfit from Dr. Seuss.” He chuckled.

“Okay boys, calm down. We’re here to _relax._ Remember Castiel.” Gabe interjected. Castiel looks over at his brother and nods. Just then the waitress arrived with everyone’s drinks.

“You know what? I would like to change my order actually. Could you get me a bottle of beer please?” Castiel said to the young woman. She nodded and left.

“Uh, Castiel? Are you sure you want to drink? I mean, I’ve never seen you drink in your life…like…ever.” Gabe said.

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” Cas replied with a frown. Dean looked down at his own beer with an unreadable expression.

 

Four beers and 3 shots later and Castiel was still more sober than the rest of the table.

“You’vsh got to be kidding me.” Gabe drawled as he stared at his brother.

“How can you still be coherent?” Sam laughed heartily.

“I’m not sure, but I think I started to feel something on the second shot…” Castiel said to the group. Dean was slumped in the booth, almost halfway under the table and his eyes were drooping down low.

“He needs to go home…He has work tomorrow I think.” Sam said in a worried tone…but then he began snickering.

“He’s such a dumbass.”  Gabe laughed loudly.

“He can’t very well drive home in this condition.” Castiel replied looking at Dean with disgust, he was about to fall asleep and in turn most likely fall to the floor.

“Here.” Sam said reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a set of keys.

“I snuck these off him earlier. You should drive you and him home, I think you are sober enough to do so. Although I have no idea how you _are_ sober. You’re like some kind of superhero or somethin’.” Sam said as he leaned in close to Castiel’s face and handed him the keys. Sam leaned closer to Castiel and whispered softly,

“But uh…be careful, he doesn’t like people driving his ‘baby’. So just be cautious. I know you’re a safe driver but still…I don’t want you guys getting in an accident.”

This sent shivers up Castiel’s spine. He couldn’t even think straight as Sam patted him on the shoulder and leaned away.

“B-but what about you? I mean, how will you get home?” Castiel retorted.

“I canths take him homes...” Gabe slurred.

“Haha, no buddy. I think I will be taking _you_ home.” Sam said.

“BUT I WANNA-“

“Gabe, Sam is much more sober than you right now. So just let him take you home….Sam, are sure you’ll be able to…”

“No worries, you guys said he was at the hotel just outside of town, I worked there a few summers ago. I know where it is, we’ll be fine. You just get yourself and my drunk ass brother home, okay? I’m counting on you.” Sam said. Castiel smiled warmly and nodded.

So Castiel slowly and kind of in a daze, stood up so Sam could get out of the booth and he and Gabriel left their money on the table and Sam helped Gabriel toward the door. Castiel watched them exit then turned back to the table where Dean was…Gone?

“What the? Where did he…”

*BANG*

Castiel jumped as he stared at the table, he then slowly crouched down to see a disgruntled and half-conscious Dean rubbing the top of his head.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” Grumbled Castiel.

~*~*~*~*~  
~*~*~*~*~


	5. Good Morning Sleepy Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the AMAZING comments. They are really making me feel great, and really motivated.

The sunlight streamed through the bedroom blinds directly into Castiel’s groggy, blue eyes. The young man groaned loudly and lifted his hand to shield his face from the blinding rays. Slowly he yawned and stretched his other arm out. _That is incredible; I haven’t slept that well in quite some time._ Cas thought to himself, a smile spreading on his lips.  Slowly Castiel rolled onto his other side and came face to face with a pair of vibrant green eyes.

“Good morning, Cas. Did you know that you like to _cuddle_ in your sleep?”  Said a sparkling smile.

“WHAT?!?” Castiel practically leapt backwards out of the bed and onto the floor.  He scrambled backwards away from Dean with wide, terrified eyes.

“W-what are you doing here?" Castiel stammered.

"What did you do?" Castiel squinted in suspicion. 

“I was about to ask you the same thing, Cas.” Dean chuckled. Castiel winced.

“Stop calling me that!” Castiel snapped. Dean only chuckled some more.

“Okay Princess. Mind telling me what happened last night?”

“W-what do you mean?” Castiel asked looking around the room.

“Well, if my memory serves me correct the last thing I remember is being at the bar and my brother getting awfully close to that pretty little face of yours.” Dean replied as he propped his head up on an elbow.  He looked down at Cas with an amused look.

“N-nothing happened between me and Sam!” Castiel replied with an edge to his voice and a hinge of disapointment. 

“Okaay. Then can you at least tell me how I got back here? Wait…Is my car okay?” Dean’s eyes grew as he stared at Cas, whom in turn stared back. Cas was trying to remember what happened himself. He hadn’t been that drunk…So why was it hard to remember?...Maybe he was blocking out an unwanted memory…Castiel looked Dean from head to toe, the entire length of his body. Dean was only wearing his jeans. _Where is his shirt?!? What the hell happened to his shirt?!  WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!_ Castiel suddenly went very pale. 

“What’s the matter buddy? You look like you seen a ghost.” Dean replied mockingly as he sat up.

“Why aren’t you worried? You have no recollection of last night! Doesn’t that worry you?! Aren’t you scared that we…” Castiel froze mid-sentence. Dean let out a short laugh.

“That we, what? Had sex? Haha, that’s unlikely.”

“What? Why is it unlikely?” Castiel asked in confusion, and with a bit of defense. _What? Am I not hot enough for his tastes? I'm plenty hot, Mr. Winchester! Wait.. GAH! What am I thinking?! He’s straight! And why do **I** care what this asshole thinks anyways? _ With all of Castiel’s inner monologue the young man hadn’t noticed that Dean had got up from the bed and was now kneeling next to Castiel.

“Ack!” Castiel jumped a bit as Dean leaned in.

“Trust me, If we _had_ had sex…You’d remember.” He said in a low, gruff voice. Castiel couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He just sat frozen with Dean next to his ear for a good 10 seconds before he heard Dean’s soft laughter in his ear. The other man stood up, still laughing as he looked down at Castiel.

“You should see the look on your face. You’re blushing like school girl.” Dean laughed as he put his hands in his jeans pockets and headed toward his door. He paused at the door to look back at Castiel who was glaring at him from the floor.

“On second thought, we might have done something, seeing as you broke my furniture and all…”

“WHAT?!”

Dean pointed to a broken lamp on the ground behind Castiel who looked over at it with wide eyes. He then quickly looked back at Dean who was snickering.

“You must’ve been pretty wild. Too bad I forgot about it.” He laughed as he left.

Castiel squinted at Dean’s back, as if maybe his eyes could shoot death lasers at the other man. That’s when he looked back at the broken lamp and remembered what had happened last night.

~*~*Flashback*~*~

“Dear Lord, how are you _this_ heavy?” Castiel groaned as he exited the elevator holding up a half conscious Dean.

“I…I have no idea…what you…are talking about…” Dean managed to groggily say as they walked down the hall.

“Oh look decided to start speaking coherently…Maybe we should get you a medal for that.”

“Ha fucking ha.” Dean mumbled his eyes shut as he leaned onto Castiel.

“I know why you are so heavy, it’s all that damn pie you eat in the middle of the damn night!” Cas complained as he reached the apartment door.

“How did we..uh…How…How did we get here?” Dean fumbled over his words.

“I drove your car.”

“You drove baby!?” Dean yelled drunkenly.

“Yes, calm down, will you? Your car is fine.”

Dean visibly relaxed at these words and slumped more in Castiel’s arms. Cas gagged at the smell of alcohol, it was coming off Dean in strong waves like a cheap cologne bought in a 7/11. 

“Okay, I have to let you go in order to open the door. Can you stand on your own?”

“Pshh, course I can.” Dean replied. Cas nodded and let him go and turned toward the door. A moment later he heard a thump and Dean was on the ground, back slumped up against the wall. Castiel just sighed and unlocked the door.

Once inside the apartment Castiel dragged Dean through the living room (with a minor pit stop as Dean threw up on the living room floor resulting in Dean taking off his shirt) and into Dean’s bedroom. Cas paused and purposely dropped Dean on the bedroom floor when he saw the bed.

“You have a _queen_ sized bed, and I’m sleeping on your damned couch?! Which by the way smells like salt and death.” Castiel griped.

There was a pained and inarticulate moan from the floor and Castiel sighed again as he yanked Dean up forcefully and headed toward the bed.

“The things I do for Sam. You know if you weren’t his brother, I wouldn’t put up with all this crap.” Castiel grumbled as he maneuvered Dean closer to the edge of the mattress.

“You’re too good for him, you know.” Dean said.

“Huh?” Castiel was so caught off guard by this unexpected statement that he suddenly dropped Dean onto the bed, which caused the drunk man to bounce up and down a few times, flailing his limbs involuntarily. This ended in Dean’s arm knocking into the lamp, which fell over, while simultaneously swinging his fist to hit Cas in the top of the head and knock him onto the bed unconscious.

“I said…you’re a good guy.” Was the muffled voice of Dean, right before he curled up next to Castiel and fell asleep completely.

~*~*End Flashback*~*~

Castiel rubbed the top of his head as he remembered the events from the previous night. He looked over at the lamp a moment then he let out a long, loud laugh.

“Yeah, wild sex, my ass.” He laughed. Then he paused. _Maybe that’s not the best way to put it…_ He thought to himself.

Castiel decided against telling Dean what had happened the night before mainly because he thought that he could probably use it as blackmail in some form. Whether it be the fact Dean is a bumbling baboon when he’s drunk (knocking lamps _and_ people out) or that he slept next to a guy in his bed for an entire night, either way, Castiel was almost positive that he could use the information to get something out of Dean. But Castiel also didn’t want to say anything because of Dean’s weird comment right before he knocked Cas out.

_“You’re too good for him, you know.”_

Castiel shook his head, to forget. _The idiot was drunk, he probably didn’t even know who he was talking to. Let alone **what** he was talking about.  _Castiel thought to himself as he cleaned up the living room floor before Dean got out of the shower. Castiel stood up just as Dean came out of the bathroom.

“Toilet’s free. Although there might not be any hot water left.” Dean smirked as he went to his bedroom to get dressed. Castiel couldn’t really think about the hot water as he was still stunned at the fact that Dean had been buck ass naked when he came out of the bathroom. Not even a towel in hand. Castiel began to blush involuntarily as he quickly put the cleaning things away and went into the bathroom. To be honest, a cold shower wouldn’t be such a bad thing right then.

Castiel loved his job. He had just started to work at the local college library and he loved every minute of it. His work was quite, his coworkers were nice, and most of all it was one place he _knew_ he would _never_ see Dean. But it was somewhere where he would most likely see Sam. Which makes Castiel very happy. So when he seen Sam come into the library with their friends Anna and Garth, Castiel was neither surprised nor disappointed.

“Hey Castiel, how’s work?” Sam asked as he leaned down on the counter. Castiel smiled warmly.

“It’s going well. Thank you for asking, and thank you for talking to the librarian about getting me this position.”

“Oh, no problem, she owed me a favor anyways. I’m just happy that you get to work somewhere that was well suited for you.” Sam replied. And though Sam’s words weren’t meant to offend Castiel, somehow Castiel couldn’t help but feel that what Sam really meant was the he was boring. He knew that was a stupid notion, I mean, Sam was kind and he would never say anything so hurtful. But still, Castiel couldn’t help thinking that maybe Sam didn’t like the fact that he was so quiet and introvert. Sure he put up with it, but hell, Jess was outgoing and funny and charismatic. Castiel was the very opposite of her. This fact just made Castiel realize even more that he and Sam could never be _together._ Not really. Castiel continued to smile, but sighed as the trio left the front desk after some idle chit chat.

“Unrequited love sucks don’t it?”

Castiel jumped at the close proximity of the familiar voice in his ear. He turned to see Dean off to the side by the counter. Cas groans unhappily and sighs. 

“What are you doing here, Dean?” He said with vague disinterest.  

“I just dropped off Sammy and his friends. I didn’t know you worked here. I mean, it’s not surprising, you being a nerd and all.” He said as he leaned one arm on the counter as he talked. Castiel just pushed Dean’s arm until it slid off the edge of the counter, making Dean lose his balance for a second.

“What are you still doing here? This place is for people who _read._ ” Castiel said with annoyance as he started to walk away from the counter toward a row of shelves with a pile of books in hand.

“Hey, I read.” Dean replied as he followed Cas into the isle of books.

“I mean people who read things that don’t involve pictures of naked woman next to the ‘gripping’ articles of sex positions.” Castiel scoffed in mild disgust.

“For your information, I read other stuff, too.” Dean retorted. Castiel turned toward him with an expression that said “ I don’t believe you.”

“Like what?” Castiel asked holding the remaining books to his sweater vested chest.

“Well…I uh, can’t think of anything off the top of my head.” Dean says. Cas scoffs again as he starts to push past Dean.

“Hey, stop trying to make me look stupid.” Dean said with irritation and he ran his hand through his hair.

“Trust me, you don’t need _my_ help in that department.” Castiel said without turning around as he walked away, leaving Dean in the middle of the isle with an aggravated yet impressed look on his face. Too bad Castiel didn’t get to see it.

 


	6. Need Some Relaxing Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, im terribly sorry this took so freaking long. I am horrible about keeping on schedule. This chapter has sexual content (masturbation) so yepp, prepare for that. And I am going to try to be more on top of this story because i really like it, my creative juices just weren't flowing recently. COMMENTS REALLY HELP! LIKE...A LOT...thank you guys for being patient. :)

Castiel sat with Sam in their Economics class trying hard to concentrate on anything but his friend’s extremely large biceps. However it was proving very difficult because apparently Sam was restless and he kept crossing and uncrossing his arms. Sam also kept checking his phone, and at first Castiel thought nothing of it. _It’s probably Jess._  Castiel had absently thought. But then he realized that Jess was _in_ this lecture. Not only that, but she wasn’t sitting with them, and that was very unusual. Seeing as Jess and Sam were dating and all. 

“Um..Sam?” Castiel whispered leaning over to his friend, but not too much of course. He couldn't get too close without started to drool on Sam's biceps.

“Yeah?” Sam said still looking at his phone smiling.

“Who are you texting?”

“Oh…Uh…Gabe.”  Sam replied still looking down at his phone with a small smile. Castiel paused from his staring at Sam's arms and looked at Sam's face intently.

“Wait…My brother, Gabe?” Cas asked in confusion.

“Yeah, he uh…we hit it off that night that we all went to the Roadhouse. He’s pretty cool, if not a bit outspoken. I think he was even flirting with me.”  Sam laughed as he put his phone away. 

“Oh, well, he’s that way with everyone...Especially when he's drunk off his ass.” Cas wasn’t trying to sound defensive, but this irked him. Probably more than it should have. Gabe was the outgoing type too. Just like Jess. Was Sam going to replace him with his own brother? Cas couldn’t help but feel pathetic. He avoided looking at or even really talking to Sam the rest of the lecture. He sighed with relief when the class was over and for once he was actually _happy_ to go back to the apartment. But there was still a heavy cloud that hung over Castiel's head. He just wasn't Sam's type. Not only in a partner...but in a friend...

Dean was nowhere in sight when Cas got home, which wasn’t a surprise. He normally worked during the day. Castiel had found out that Dean worked at a salvage yard called Bobby’s Auto. Apparently he was really interested in cars and fixing them. Which Cas knew absolutely nothing about. He had his old clunker of a car and he was just fine with it.

Right now Castiel just wanted to relax. But he wasn’t sure how. He could read, but he kind of did that on a regular basis anyways, he could drink some beer, but he didn’t really want a repeat of the Roadhouse incident…He looked around the living room and sighed…Then his eyes caught the bookshelf…His eyes skipped over his books and caught sight of the porn…It wasn't like he would _watch_ Busty Asian Beauties…He couldn’t care less if they were busty or Asian. But Castiel _was_ alone after all. He could probably come up with much better stuff in his mind revolving around Sam anyhow…

_Am I really contemplating masturbating, in the middle of the day, in an apartment that isn’t even mine?_

Castiel glanced down at a picture of Sam and Dean on the end table next to the couch. There was a familiar warm feeling that began in the pit of his stomach as he looked at Sam smiling face.  
 _I guess I_ am…He thought a bit grimly. _But where do I go? I can’t very well do it on the couch…_ Cas looks over at Dean’s bedroom door…He wasn’t home after all, and he probably wouldn’t be home till late. Thursdays he normally stayed late at the shop, although Cas was unsure why he remembered that. Either way, he would be completely alone…

Cas glanced around the apartment once, just for self-assurance that no one else was there. Then he slowly made his way to Dean’s bedroom. He found his suitcase in Dean's closet. It had a small bottle of lube hidden within the maze of zippers and pockets. He then grabbed a towel from the bathroom and then stood at the end of the queen sized bed.  For a moment Castiel was going to back out and forget the whole thing, that is, after realizing that Dean had probably had sex with multiple woman on these very sheet. But then he remembered that _he_ was the one who did he laundry, so he knew that these were clean. Thank God. 

Cas slowly crawled onto the bed after laying the towel down and stripped to his boxers. He decided to stay in them just in case Dean _did_ come home early, at least he wouldn’t be caught  _completely_ exposed. He opened the lube and got a little on his hand. He lifted the elastic band with his other hand and gripped his already hardening cock with the lubed one. He slowly stroked himself thinking of Sam. He imagined Sam in the room with him now, standing at the end of the bed watching him. He imagined as Sam would knead at his hard on through his tight jeans. Castiel stroked a bit faster at the thought of Sam stripping down to his black briefs. But then he slowed down when he imagined Sam crawling onto the bed. That’s when Cas let go of himself and got more lube, he reached down and ran his slicked finger playfully over his hole and then inserted a finger. Pushing it in slowly he moaned, a bit louder than he expected to. He started to pump his finger in and out as his fantasy became much better, with heated touches and kisses to his sensitive skin.

Castiel added a second finger and then soon after, a third. One hand skillfully milking that sweet spot inside while the other rapidly stroked his member fiercely. Cas rucked up into his fist, then pushed back down on his fingers. Cas' fantasy intensified.  _Can almost feel those beautiful brown locks on my face._  Cas pumped even harder, eyes shut tight. _Can almost feel those taunt muscles of his back_. Cas was getting really close. He thrust his fingers deeper and moaned again.  _I can even imagine what that pristine cock would look_ _like_. He thought in awe as he imagined a beautiful muscular cock soaking wet from a shower. Castiel's hips started to stutter and jerk as he began to lose control. Those _soft pink lips, that cocky smile, that amazingly hot tattoo, those emerald green eyes!_ Castiel’s own eyes pop open in shock.

“Emerald gree?-UGHHHH“ Before Castiel could even finished his extremely confused sentence he was erupting from the inside as he spilled out over his hand and abdomen with one of the best orgasms he had had in a _long_ time. Cas closes his eyes again and the image of Dean flashes in his mind. Specifically the image of him when he woke up in his bed. Cas shivered and shook his head to get rid of the image.  Castiel felt gross, not only because of his semen. He felt weird…He _hated_ Dean…okay maybe not hated…but there was a very, _very_ strong dislike there. So why would he? Cas shivered again… _Best not to think about it…I’m just upset about Sam right now…It’s only natural that I think about someone who is related to him…right?_ Even though he hadn’t completely convinced himself that that was the case, he still tried to forget about the fact that he had came to the thought of Dean’s stupid face. _I should have just taken a bath to relax._


	7. On Good Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey lookie here! Another Chapter! I'm getting back into the groove. Thank you SO MUCH for the comments! And I hope you all like this chapter! :)

For the next week or so Castiel avoided Dean…Every time Dean came into the living room after a shower, instead of staying where he was on the couch like normal, Cas would try to nonchalantly exit into the kitchen as Dean sat on the couch a bit bewildered. Or if Dean was in the kitchen making a sandwich, Castiel would wait an hour before making his own lunch. One time when Cas had fallen asleep on the couch doing homework he found Dean slouching up next to him asleep with the tv on. Cas all but ran out of the apartment then, even if it had been 11:30 at night.

But school wasn’t all that much better. Despite the fact that he didn’t see Jess and Sam together as much as before, Castiel still was feeling inadequate near Sam. So in a way, he was avoiding both Winchesters. One because he was in love with him, the other because he hated the fact that he was infatuated by him. Which Cas did finally realize. He finally admitted to himself that Dean was in fact a good-looking guy. _Okay, that he was smokin’ hot_. But his personality was still that of a baby primate so there was no chance of anything more than a light infatuation with his face…and body…but still Cas hated himself, in some for it felt like cheating on Sam. Even though he didn’t really like Dean and him and Sam weren’t even really dating…Although, this thought just made Cas even _more_ depressed.

So Cas was being a hermit to say the least and it was after about a week and 2 days of him sulking and avoiding and hiding from everyone that Dean decided to say something.

Dean found Cas in the living room when he got home on a Wednesday night around 9:00. Castiel had his earphones in and was focusing intently on his Philosophy book. He had a pair of reading glasses on that were barely on his nose and he continued to push them up closer to his eyes so he could read the text better. Dean found this amusing. He watched Cas a moment in silent as he took off his boots at the door and shimmied out of his coat. Then Dean crept behind the couch so Castiel couldn't see him and then plopped down on the seat of the couch right behind where Castiel was sitting. This made the other man jumped out of his skin.

“Jeesh! You scared the shit out of me!” Castiel said nervously, feeling awkward about how Dean was sitting behind him. Castiel glanced over his shoulder and up at Dean who was smiling down at him.

“So if you work this hard, I wonder how hard you _play._ ” Dean said with a grin as he comically wiggled his eyebrows. Castiel shivered at his implied words, even if they were in a joking manner.

“Well, you’ll never know.” Castiel stated bitterly as he started to pick up his text book and highlighters.

“Okay," Dean began with resolve. 

"…Did I like, _do somethin’?_ ” Dean asked, Cas paused at the fact that he could hear real worry in Dean’s voice.

“Excuse me?” Cas replied in confusion.

“I mean, I know I’m not the best roommate.” Dean began. _That’s an understatement._ Cas thought.

“But I mean, I thought we had finally started to coexist without you wanting to claw my eyes out.” Dean finished. Dean seemed sincere, and it was starting to mess with Castiel’s head. Cas paused again for a moment.

“I thought it was a mutual distaste for one another…” Cas replied cautiously squinting at Dean, trying to figure him out.

“What? Well I mean…No… No, I only tease you because you’re Sam’s best friend… I mean that’s how I tease Sammy all the time. I never really meant to offend you to begin with. But I was just testing waters. I mean…” Dean began to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. He was visibly uncomfortable talking about this sort of stuff.

“I was gonna be livin’ with ya. I wanted to know how much of my bullshit you could take. Which happens to be all of it, you took all the crap that I would pull on Sam. And for a week or so, I thought we were finally just being regular roommates... But now your being a total ass!” Dean finished. Cas sighed. He kind of felt like shit now. He _was_ being an ass. He had no idea that that was just Dean’s way of figuring out how to live with a person…However, cruel and unusual it was. Castiel sighed.

“I am sorry Dean. It’s not you, really. It’s just…” Cas sighed again. He didn’t really want to talk to Dean about his insecurities about himself and Sam. _I mean that would be too weird. right?_

“You’re freaking about my brother aren’t you?” Dean said in a bland tone. Like it was no big deal, like he could read Castiel's thoughts. 

“W-what? No…I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Cas sputtered. 

“Oh come on. You and I both know that you have a major crush on my little brother. With good reason though, he has some good genes.” Dean said with a smug grin.

“So what are you going to do? Beat me up?”

“What? Why would I do that? I don’t care whether you have a crush on my bro. I’m 99% sure that he’s straight so-“

“So I have no fucking chance with him…I know… You don’t have to say it…” Cas snapped bitterly.

“You don’t have to be so touchy about it.”

“Of course you would say that! _You’ve_ never had the problem of liking a guy who’s straight. You’ve probably never had the problem of liking _anyone_ who didn’t reciprocate your affections. I mean God! Look at you!” Cas yelled in mild-disgust. Actually it was more like irritation than anything else.

“Uhhh…thanks?” Dean ventured, not sure how to take the outburst of honesty. 

“I’m just so sick of liking straight men! I mean, they aren’t any better! Why do I fixate on them? It’s like I _know_ I can’t be with him, but I still feel the _need_ to be with him no matter what. To hang out with him, to secretly wish one day I might be able to tell him.”

“You can’t really determine who you fall in love with.” Dean replied thoughtfully as he watched his roommate. 

“Yeah, thanks Dr. Bill…” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Uh It’s…Um… Dr. Phil. Not Dr. Bill.” Dean chuckled awkwardly. Cas paused a moment then looked up at Dean again. A moment of silence passed and the two of them just stared at each other. Dean looking down into Cas’ wide, blue eyes and Cas looking up at Dean’s crystal clear, green ones. After about a minute Cas looked away and let out a more relaxed laugh. The tension seemed to be lifted. 

“If you’re so worried about it, maybe you should tell Sam how you feel.” Dean added quietly as Cas started to stand up. Once standing he pulled up his pants a bit, for they had dropped down on his hips while he was sitting on the floor.

“Yeah, sure.” Castiel scoffs.

“I’ll just walk up to Sam and say ‘hey there sexy, I’ve been obsessed with you for a year now. You should forget girls and go out with me.’” Cas said sarcastically. Dean let out a laugh.

“Why not?” He chuckled in reply.

“I know my brother. He would take it like a man. He wouldn’t be an asshole or anything.”

“Oh, I know he wouldn’t…I just don’t know how I could handle him turning me down.” Cas looked down and picked up his text book and papers in one arm.

“Still…Think about it…” Dean said as Cas began to walk to put his book in his backpack.

“Maybe…” Cas says as he zips his bag and heads toward Dean’s bedroom to get his clothes from the closet. Cas paused a moment and looked over his shoulder.

“Oh, and Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean replies looking over at Cas.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Does this make us ‘best buds’?” Dean teased.

“How about ‘friendly roommates’.” Cas replied with a small smile as he continued into the bedroom. Dean nodded and turned on the TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also. i just added a few things to this chapter. i wrote/posted it late at night without any beta so like...yeah...if you know a good beta could you hook a sista up? lol


	8. Hell of a Party

“So, Jess and I are taking a break.”

“A break?” Cas asks Sam as they sit in the coffee shop on a Thursday afternoon. Sam nods in reply and looks into his cup of tea. There was a moment when they were both silent and then Cas spoke again, quietly.

“What does that mean, exactly?” He asked watching Sam’s expression closely.   
“We both are starting to realize how different we are from each other.” Sam replied.  
“Different can be good though right?” Cas asked, thinking more about _his_ and Sam’s relationship, rather than _Jess’_ and Sam…

“Yeah it can. But we wanted different things. In the long run we… I’m just…I’m not…We’re taking a break…I just wanted to let you know. Cause you’re like, my best friend and all.” Sam said. All Cas could do was nod dumbly and watch as Sam took a drink of tea. He didn’t really know what to say or do. On the one hand, he was happy that Jess and Sam weren’t dating; no matter how guilty that thought made him. On the other hand, even _Jess_ wasn’t good enough for Sam. _What makes you think that you’re worth being with him, if **Jess** couldn’t even keep him?_ Castiel thought bitterly to himself.  

“So do you want to go?”

“Excuse me?” Castiel shoots a look at Sam who is staring at him with what he assumes is the bitch face that Dean has talked so much about.

“Dude, you weren’t even listening were you?” Sam laughed. Cas smiled despite being confused, because every time he saw Sam smile he couldn’t help to smile as well. It was contagious.

“Sorry, no.”

“I said that my friend from high school is having a party tomorrow night and he invited me and anyone I wanted to bring. And then I asked if you wanted to go.” Sam said.

“I don’t know Sam, I have an essay due in a week and I’ve barely started it and-“

“Oh come on, you need to let loose! You’ve been kind of tense for the last few weeks. I invited Gabe and Dean, too. We could all hang out like we did at the Roadhouse. It’ll be fun, trust me.”

“Gabe’s going?” Castiel asked quietly. Sam nodded and smiled. Castiel stared into his cup of coffee, and after a moment he looked up at Sam.

“Where is it at?”

~~~  
“Okay, So I’m gonna pick you up at the library at 6pm?” Dean asked as he put on his brown leather jacket. Dean walked into the kitchen where Cas was. It was about 8am on Friday morning and Dean noticed that Cas still had bedhead even though the other man was fully dressed except for his feet.

“Uh, if it’s not too much trouble...” Cas glanced down at his slippers a bit awkwardly then back up to meet Dean’s eyes. Castiel never really liked asking for favors. If he could do it himself, he normally would. But he was happy that Dean was willing to help. It meant they really _were_ on good terms.

“My car should be fixed within a few days. Or so the mechanic says.” Cas smirked and tilted his head a smidge still looking at Dean. Dean smiled. Cas’ eyes grew after a few moments then looked away when he realized that they had been staring at each other for at least a full minute. Dean cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry I got ya covered. That thing will run like new after I’m done. But, to be honest dude, it’d be smarter just to get a new car. That thing is a heap of scrap metal.” Dean chuckled. Cas stuck out his tongue in childish defense.  

“I like it, just like you like your ‘baby’. Besides I barely have cash for my half of the groceries. I love the library, but I don’t love the amount of my paycheck. I suppose it’s my own fault for not knowing how to interact well in big crowds.” Cas gave a halfhearted laugh as he took a bite out of his toast. He made a satisfied noise and smiled at Dean.

“I told you toast with jam was good. You need to listen to me more. ” Dean replied. Cas made another low and gruff “mm” in conformation. Cas felt like Dean was going to say something else but instead he just started to walk into the living room still rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, okay. So 6:00 and then we head up to the lake house?” Dean asked checking his coat for his car keys. Castiel nods.

“Yes. Sam said that Lucifer’s party will be held at his father’s lake house. It’s about a half hour drive there. Thank you again for taking me, Sam would have done it but he said he had to do something beforehand.” Cas said stepped out of his slippers and walked toward the door where his shoes were.

“Don’t mention it. Sam wanted me to stop by anyways. Besides I heard there was going body shots and who can resist body shots off boobs? Well…other than you.” Dean laughs.

“Ha ha, very funny. I thought you were done teasing me.” Castiel replied.

“I never said that, I just told you that I was teasing you because you were Sam’s friend.”

“Nice.” Cas laughed though, he knew that Dean was only messing with him as a friend. Yeah, I guess Cas and Dean were friends now. _Huh, when did that happen?_ Cas wondered to himself.

“Okay, we should get going. I don’t wanna be late to Bobby’s. You know, you’re lucky that campus is between here and my work, otherwise you’d be taking the bus.” Dean said with a smirk as he opened the front door. Cas picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder and walked past Dean and out the door.

“You’re lucky that I have a crap car, otherwise you’d be pumping gas and changing oil.” Cas said with a grin as he entered the hall.

“Hey! I do more than that you know!” Dean called after him.

The party at Lucifer’s was just starting to roar to life when Dean and Castiel arrived. The lake house was a modern two story house on the edge of a small crystal clear lake. The moon was high and a string of white Christmas lights hung in the trees surrounding the property. It was getting colder, now that is was November. The leaves were changing colors and the lights illuminated the front and side yard with a euphoric glow. The two men cross the front yard full of people who were dancing (if you can call it that) to the DJ who was off to the right hand side. Once they got inside the large house they paused a bit awkwardly by the door.

“So uh…You want to go get something to drink?” Dean asked after a moment of looking around.

“Sure. I mean, just until Sam gets here.” Castiel replied as they started their way through another crowd.

They quickly found a long table with assorted foods and drinks. Most of which were beers. Castiel felt oddly more calm than he normally was at these sort of things. Parties normally gave Cas horrible anxiety even with Sam there. Every time someone would approach him to talk, nearly halfway into the conversation Cas was lost. But for some unknown reason, he wasn’t anxious even as Dean handed him a beer.

“Dean, I don’t drink, remember?” Cas said as he glanced around awkwardly.

“Come on man, you drank everyone-including myself- under the table. I don’t think one beer is going to be that big of a deal, right?” Dean replied with a smooth grin. Cas looked down at the beer in his hand. Dean _did_ have a point; he did have the unholy gift of being able to drink large amounts of liquor and go completely unscathed.  _Well, maybe just one._ Castiel thought to himself. He popped open the can and took a drink.

“There you go! Now you should loosen up!” Dean grinned slapping Cas lightly on the back.

“Okay, let’s go mingle until my bro gets here shall we?” Dean said as he slung his arm over Castiel’s shoulders and ushered him toward the backyard where there was another DJ, a very large deck, more white lights and not 20 feet away was the lake where a few people had started a small bon fire.

“D-Dean. I-I’m not very good at mingling. I mean…I’m just not used to… _this.”_ Castiel said as Dean got behind Cas and pushed him toward the small bon fire.

“Cas, buddy. You worry too much.”  Dean replied as they approached the beach.

“Maybe you’re right…” Castiel replied.

“Huh.” Dean laughed.

“What?”

“Well, you said I was right and you didn’t freak about me calling you Cas.” Dean smiled looking at Cas with his wide green eyes. Cas looked over at Dean with a small smile gracing his face as well.

“Well, I didn’t say you’re right I said _‘maybe_ you’re right’.” Cas teased. Dean shoved Cas’ side playfully.

“And…I don’t know. The nickname is…growing on me, I suppose.” Cas added looking at Dean thoughtfully. For a moment Cas felt…odd. For a second he thought that maybe Sam had entered the room, because Cas had this strange feeling. He couldn’t quite explain it. But as he and his roommate stared at one another Cas began to feel a certain calmness wash over him again. No anxiety, no party, no trying to impress the hot guy at the buffet table. Just relief. And for some reason he thought that Dean might be feeling it, too. And he was about to say something to his friend when suddenly the moment was over when he felt Sam slap him on the back and say

“Hey guys! I’m so glad you both found this place okay.”

“Actually, Dean gave me a ride. My car is in for repairs.” Castiel replied.

“Oh that sucks man.” Sam said nodding in sympathy.

“It’s okay though, Dean is taking care of it.” Cas added glancing briefly at Dean who looked away and began pointedly looking at a brunette by the large deck.

“Uh, yeah. Which by the way, its coming along real nice. It should be done by tomorrow afternoon if I get to Bobby’s by noon or so.” Dean said looking back at them for a moment.

“Oh, that’s good.” Cas said quietly.

“You guys gotta stop talking about work and cars. It’s a party!” Sam said enthusiastically.

“You’re starting to sound like my brother…” Castiel replied looking up at Sam with a bit of a scrunched up face. (He really didn’t mean to)

“Am I? Heh heh.” Sam chuckled nervously, and _is he blushing?_ Castiel thought in horror. _Why would he blush at that??_

“Speaking of Gabe, he’s still in the house. Let’s go find him, okay?” Sam said as he slung his arm around Cas’ shoulders. Cas didn’t know why, but it didn’t feel as nice as when Dean had done it. It wasn’t as…comforting, like it usually was. This fact just made Castiel even more anxious. _It’s just me, being weird. Right? _Cas glanced over his shoulder to look at Dean who was staring at them with an unreadable expression, then he turned and headed toward the brunet and began chatting her up. _Right.  _


	9. Party Animals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a bit longer compared to my others, I hope that's okay. :)   
> Also I want to thank Renee for being my lovely beta for this chapter and hopefully many chapters to come.  
> her tumblr: http://00skyfall.tumblr.com/

“Hey lil’ bro! I’m surprised to see you here!” Gabriel called cheerfully from down the hall. He and Sam had gotten another beer before they found Gabe, in the dining room, doing belly shots off random college girls. 

“I could say the same thing to you, brother. I thought you had a date night with Balthazar this weekend.” Castiel replied briskly as he stood next to the towering Sam. Cas noticed that Sam was staring intently at the girls Gabe was doing body shots off of. _They must be his type._ Castiel thought to himself as he eyeballed the women. _Or maybe he just knows them…_ He added with hope.

“Well, Sammy boy over here, invited me and well, I just couldn’t say no to that face, could I?” Gabe replied with a grin. _Yes, you could have most definitely said NO._ Cas thought solemnly. Cas felt that he had _just_ got an opportunity to get closer to Sam since Jess and him were over, but he didn’t really want to have to compete with his brother’s friendship with Sam on top of everything else.

“No, I suppose you couldn’t.” Cas said plainly.

“And I uh, I broke it off with Balthazar.” Gabe said, trying to be heard over the music and people,  however he seemed a bit reserved, almost like he didn’t want to tell Cas.

“What do you mean? You just…broke up with him? Why?” Castiel asked. And for a split second Cas could have sworn that his brother and best friend exchanged looks. But he couldn’t be sure in this dim lighting.  

“We just…didn’t see eye to eye.” Gabe replied in his usual cool tone.  Castiel stared at him a moment then nodded.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” Cas said looking around the dining room. There was a man drinking through a funnel, a girl stripping for a guy in the corner, and a couple guys playing what looked like spin the bottle. Cas sighed and glanced over at Sam who was drinking from his red plastic cup slowly. Cas wondered what would happen if he suggested spin the bottle, but then his mind went to the gutter faster than he’d like to admit. So he abstained from that idea all together.

“It was for the best. Anyways, I’m here now, with you two lovely fellows.” Gabe beamed as he hooked one arm around each of their shoulders. Sam had to hunker down a bit so Gabe could get his arm up onto the Winchester’s back.

“And we are at a party. So, I think what we have to do now…Is PARTY!” Gabe called as he pulled his brother and Sam toward the front door, closer to the DJ and where a large crowd of people were dancing. The three of them awkwardly danced in the large crowd of people for quite a while.  However, Cas was feeling especially awkward, so he excused himself as fast as humanly possible and made his way back inside the large house. He found the drink table again, but this time decided on a can of coke. He popped it open and took a long, much needed, drink. And when his head came back down from the drink, Cas came face to face with a grinning Dean.

“Couldn’t handle our brothers?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“More like, just mine. Sometimes I legitimately wonder if we are blood related. Maybe he was adopted.” Castiel sighed. Dean chuckled.

“Is the rest of your family like him?” Dean asked, taking a drink of beer.

“Oh heaven’s no. My father absolutely hates my brother’s lifestyle. To be honest, he hates mine as well.” Cas’ eyes lowered to the floor. He didn’t really like talking about his homophobic father.

“Hmmm.” Dean paused a moment and watched Cas as he frowned into his coke. He seemed to understand what that certain kind of silence meant.

“Well, what about other siblings?” He asked, changing the subject, which Cas graciously took.

“Oh, well Anna is a lot like me actually. She’s only 17 but she already knows she wants to become a Psychologist when she reaches college. She likes to read and she’s more of an introvert, much like myself.”  Dean could tell just by looking at Castiel’s face that he very much enjoyed talking about his younger sister.

“Sounds kinda hot.”  Dean replied with an oddly serious looking expression. Cas’ eyes went wide. _Did he just say…But I just described…_

“I’m…I’m uh, kidding o’ course.” Dean let out a short laugh. Cas paused a moment, his ocean blue eyes still a bit wide and staring at Dean. But he also let out a small laugh and took a drink from his coke, while Dean sighed with awkward relief.

“Just so you know though, Anna is off limits.” Cas says with a small smile. Dean can’t help but blush, which goes almost unseen by a slightly confused Cas.

“I wouldn’t even dream of it.” Dean replied with ironic honesty, unbeknownst to Cas.

“Still if you ask me who my favorite sibling is, I suppose it’d still have to be Gabe.” Castiel said thoughtfully as he took another drink of his coke.

“Really? I thought he’d be too much like…”

“You?” Cas finished for him. Dean chuckles then sighs.

“Yeah.” Dean said awkwardly.

“It’s true you both are stubborn, overly-confident, abrasive, and quite promiscuous.” Castiel replied.

“Oh. Thanks.” Dean interjected sarcastically after taking a drink.

“But…You both are assertive, brave, and deep… _deep_ down, kind-hearted and loving. And both of you care very much for your families. That I can clearly see. So yes, Gabe is like you…But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” Gradually as Cas said this his cheeks started to turn a rosy pink.

“If I’m not mistaken, I do believe that was a compliment of sorts.” Dean was visibly happy by this which involuntarily made Cas’ complexion deepen in color.

“Yeah, well don’t let it go to your head. That’s all you’re getting from me.” Castiel said with a sheepish smile. _Why is this making me blush? Why am I getting so flustered by this? It’s just Dean._

“So get this,” Cas jumps a bit as Sam comes up to them. Sam turns to Dean and continues.

“Lucifer’s sister Eve is here. I thought that you might like to know that, since you have a thing for brunets with blue eyes all of a sudden.” Dean snuck a quick glance at Castiel whom was staring at Sam with an unreadable expression.

“Uh, maybe in a bit.” Dean looked back at Sam to see his brother looking past him, into the crowd. Dean glanced over his shoulder to see Gabriel talking to another man who seemed to look about their age, maybe a bit younger. He also seemed vaguely familiar. Dean looked back to his brother again who was now engaged in a conversation with Castiel.

“…no, I’m sure of it. He was the waiter from The Roadhouse.” Dean caught Sam saying.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know what you want me to do about it Sam.” Castiel said in what seemed like an exhausted tone, at least to Dean.

“We should all go say hi. He was flirting with you if I remember correctly.” Sam nudged Cas in the side lightly.

“Sam, I’m not really in the mood.”

“Come on it’ll be fun.” Sam said as he grabbed onto Cas and lead him across the room to where Gabe and the man were standing. Dean stayed a few steps behind them.

“Oh hey lil bro. Sammy boy. Dean-o. You remember Samandriel, our very handsome waiter from The Roadhouse, right?” Sam found himself frowning for a split second before he reverted back to his easy going smile. 

“Dean-o?” Dean whispered to himself in confusion. Sam nudged Cas again.

“Oh yes, of course. Hello Samandriel.”

“Samandriel, this is my brother Castiel. Isn’t it interesting all three of our names have the same ending?” Gabriel said with a smile. Cas cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“Uh, hi. I, um… I see you’ve chosen a non-alcoholic beverage again.” Samandriel added awkwardly, but Cas smiled at this. He felt a bit less self-conscious now that he knew he wasn’t the only one who was awkward at a party like this. Just then another man came up next to Sam.

“Hey there, Sam. I’m glad you could make it.”

“Oh, hi there, Lucifer. Um, everyone Lucifer. Lucifer, this is my brother Dean, you might remember him. And this is my best friend Castiel, his brother Gabe and that’s Samandriel.” Sam replied motioning to each of them as he said their name.

“Well, I’m sure if you are friends with Sam here, that you are good company to keep. So please…Enjoy yourselves.” Lucifer then took his leave, but not before brushing his hand along Sam’s long hair. Which everyone seemed to notice, but no one seemed to know what to say.

“He… He can be a bit weird.” Sam laughed awkwardly, after an odd moment of silence, rubbing the back of his neck. Cas thought it was cute that both Winchester’s did that.  _Sam has very strong muscles…I mean, so does Dean. But uhnf._ Cas thought to himself. Everyone seemed to laugh it off and start chatting again after a while though Sam almost yanks Gabe from the group to seemingly go talk to him.

“So…Uh, Castiel…Do you come to these things often?” Samandriel asked. Cas shook his head.

“No, not very. Only when Sam invites me. And you can um, call me Cas, if you’d like. It’s a nickname that I’m starting to get used to.” Cas glanced over at Dean who had an unreadable expression.

“Oh, alright. So you don’t like parties much?”

“He’s a bookworm. Never leaves the house really.” Dean interjects a bit shortly. Which Cas finds a bit odd.

“Really?! Me too!” Samandriel turns to Cas and looks him in the eyes.

“I never like leaving the house ever, but Lucifer brought me tonight. He said I had to learn how to socialize.”

“So you’re a friend of Lucifer’s?” Cas wondered aloud. Samandriel went quiet for a moment then spoke softly.

“Yes, I know he didn’t really acknowledge me during those introductions. He doesn’t really like to be seen with me…uh…socially…what we do is more… _behind closed doors_ …” Cas thought about what that could mean, although it seemed pretty obvious what he was getting at, and for a moment Cas felt a bad for Samandriel. It seemed that Lucifer was a very _busy_ person. And Samandriel was just another person he could throw away. Although, Cas didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, it seemed that Samandriel was being used by Lucifer.

“Do you perhaps want to go out sometime?” Samandriel’s voice was quiet but still both Cas _and_ Dean heard it clearly enough.

“I mean, maybe to a bookshop or…something…” Samandriel tried to expand.

At this point Dean was just blindly staring at Cas, which Castiel noticed when he glanced at Dean. Cas wasn’t sure why he was looking to Dean right now. _It’s not for permission, that’s for sure._ Cas thought indignantly. _I’m just looking to him as one friend to another, for assurance…definitely not for permission._

“That…That sounds…nice.” Cas replied slowly as he looked away from Dean and to Samandriel.

“Really? I mean…uh..cool.”

Dean rolled his eyes at this point, not really caring if Cas or Samandriel seen him or not. Cas had a small smile. He didn’t really want to start a relationship with anyone right now. _But_ he came to a resolve when Samandriel asked him out. He had to try to get over Sam, for his own good. 


	10. It's Not My Party...But I Can Cry If I Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GET READY TO SAY "POOR CAS." This chapter is emotional. But I will make up for it with a smutty chapter soon, I promise! Thank you guys so much for the comments! They are really giving me inspiration! So thank you! <3  
> Beta: http://00skyfall.tumblr.com/  
> She's amazing, so if you need someone to correct horrible grammar mistakes (like I do) then you should hit her up. :) Tell her that Jen sent you. :P

“Would you excuse us for a moment, Samandriel?” Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand without warning and dragged his friend off.

“Dude, what are you doing? I thought you were all…smitten with Samandriel…or whatever.” Dean mumbled as Castiel pulled him into a corner.

“I have resolved that I must get over Sam.” Cas blurted out. Dean seemed confused, but for some reason Cas thought he seen relief on his roommate’s face, but just for a moment.

“Okay, so…What?…Samandriel is your rebound or something?” Dean asked.

“I-I don’t know, I suppose… But, I don’t want him to be. He seems so…nice.” Cas frowned looking at his shoes.

“And that’s what you want? _Nice?”_ Dean inquired taking a half-step closer. Castiel looked back up at Dean.

“I-I don’t know. I guess not…Maybe…Dean, that’s not the point. I need to get over Sam. That’s the only way I know if I really like Samandriel. And even if I don’t end up dating him, at least I can _move on_ with my life.” Castiel stared at Dean, _willing_ him to understand the position he was in.

“And you decided all this in the last 5 minutes?” Dean asked crossing his arms, a small smirk forming. Cas glanced at Dean’s arms for a moment then back up at Dean’s face. He gave one good, hard nod.

“Yes.” He said with certainty. Dean chuckled and patted Cas on the head.

“Then the only way to get over him is to confess to him.”

“WHAT?!”

“Once you tell him how you feel, everything will be okay. You’ll get it off your chest and everything will get back to normal. Trust me.” Dean said. But something in his easy going smile was off. Cas couldn’t quite place it, but something was definitely _…off…_

“Are you sure? I mean…I-I don’t think I can do this, Dean.” Cas replied, his blood pressure rising at just the _thought_ of Sam telling him to “fuck off”. He knew in his heart Sam would never do that, but the little voice in the back of his head was telling him he wasn’t worth it. That he should just fake it and be with a girl, just like his close-minded father wanted.

“Cas, I can’t tell you what to do. But if you want my advice, this is it.” Dean replied. Cas could tell he genuinely want to help Cas, which meant a lot to him.

“Thank you, Dean. I think you are right. I have to talk with Sam. Can you chat with Samandriel until I get back?”

“Sure dude.” Dean smiled and turned and started to walk toward Samandriel but  then stopped and turned back.

“Uh… Cas?”

“Yes Dean?”

There was a slight pause in which neither of them said anything. Yet even without words, something was said. Something was put out there for both of them to see. As they stared deeply into each other’s eyes there was something that each of them wanted to say to the other. But neither of them said it. And maybe…neither of them really even knew what to say right then. But after the moment had passed Dean just smiled his easy going, subtly seducing smile and said,

“Good luck.”

Castiel smiled softly and nodded. Dean then turned and left Cas to his own thoughts. Which, to be frank, never was a good idea. But Castiel didn’t spend too much time thinking about Dean or their long, intense, kind of weird, staring contests. No…He was a man on a mission.

After about ten minutes of trying to find Sam; Castiel asked Lucifer if he had seen him. With an annoyed expression and a point to the steps, Lucifer indicated that he had went upstairs. At the top of the stairs Cas looked down a surprisingly long hallway. He sighed. He didn’t really want to bust in on a bunch of couples making out _…or worse…_ Castiel shivered. Thankfully there was a girl who was puking at the top of the stairs, and she pointed to the last door on the right.

“Thank you. And you might want to get those dry cleaned.” Castiel offered as he pointed to the young lady’s shoes. She nodded and continued to puke on them. Cas gagged and hurried down the hall.

Meanwhile Dean was downstairs and internally freaking out while trying to talk to Samandriel. He didn’t really know why he was freaking out. He just knew that he was uncomfortable with telling Cas to go and confess his love to his brother. For some reason he didn’t like the thought of them together. _But that wouldn’t happen. Cause Sammy’s straight._  Still Dean had a weird feeling…A bad omen…

“Hey, will you excuse me for a second, I need to find Cas.” Dean started to turn away, mid conversation.

“You like him, don’t you?” Samandriel replied.

“What?” Dean turned back with a puzzled expression.

“You like Castiel.”

“Course I do, we’re roommates. And friends.” Dean replied quietly.

“That’s not what I meant. And I think you know that.” Samandriel replied.

“I don’t know whatch’a talkin’ about. But I have to go find Cas.” Dean said quickly.

“Don’t wait too long to tell him. That’s what I did with Lucifer.” Samandriel added before Dean was already on his way out of the dining room.

Castiel slowly made his way toward the last door on the right. One slow step at a time and with every step Castiel would have an internal battle with himself. He would physically have to stop himself from running away. _I can’t do this. Dean was wrong. There must be other ways of moving on. Like what? Huh? Going out with Samandriel? You know he’s not your type. I don’t even have a type, do I? Sure ya do! It’s called tall, dark and Winchester. Shut up! UGH. AM I REALLY ARGUING WITH MYSELF? _

Castiel stopped at the end of the hall and took a long deep breath. _I can do this. I just have to tell him how I feel, and then I can move on._ Castiel turned toward the door _. I can do this._ He reached for the door handle. _I can do this._ He started to turn the knob, but then he stopped. What was that noise? It was coming from inside the room…It sounded like… _Oh God. He isn’t having…he can’t be…Here?...But if I’m not mistaken… that sounds like two…Wait…is Sam gay??...I CAN’T DO THIS. ABORT. ABORT._ Castiel covered his ears and stumbled blindly away from the door and right into Dean’s chest.

“Hey there buddy. There’s a fun game of spin the bottle that’s going on downstairs. How about we go and play with them. I’m sure you’ve been dying to kiss these lips all night!” Dean laughed awkwardly.

“Wait…What? No…Dean…It was…Sam is…” Castiel’s words came out in a jumble.

“How about you tell him another time, alright buddy?” Dean said in a light hearted tone. But Cas could hear the worry in his voice.

“No…I…I came up here to tell him…I have to go in…” Cas said trying to get out of Dean’s grip.

“I don’t think you want to do that Cas. Let’s just go downstairs okay?”

“You know who he’s in there with don’t you!?” Cas yelled.

Dean frowned.  “No, I just…I have a suspicion and you’re not going to like it. So let’s just leave it be.”

“Dean, let me go. I have to talk to your brother.”

“ _Cas,_ _I really don’t think that-_ ”

“DEAN.”

Then next minute would always be remembered as simultaneously the worst and the best moment in Castiel’s life. Although, at the time it was just the worst. He hadn’t been positive about what he would see when he opened that bedroom door. His buck ass naked brother was definitely not even an option.

Cas came face to face with Sam being pounded in the ass by Gabriel whose clothes were scattered across the floor. Everything in that moment slowed down. All Castiel wanted to do was scream, but when he opened his mouth, nothing came out. Which was probably for the best. The look of sheer terror on Sam’s face would haunt Castiel weeks to come. The pure guilt on Gabriel’s was enough to make Castiel vomit. He didn’t vomit of course, but it was tempting.

“no…no…nononoNoNoNo.” Castiel turned for the door, tears streaming down his face. He felt like he was moving through molasses. He remembers pushing past Dean, whose face could only be described as pitying. That was the last thing Cas wanted. To be pitied. He heard Sam’s shouts and Gabriel’s protests as he ran down the hall.

It didn’t take him long to find Samandriel. He asked the man for a ride home, which Samandriel replied with a worried expression and an “Of course. We can go now if you want.” Castiel nodded and on their way out he grabbed  bottle of tequila and drank a third of the bottle.  

“So much for the no drinking thing.” Samandriel said with a soft chuckle.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. When someone confesses to you I’m sure it’s overwhelming but-“

“Confesses? What are you talki-? I just caught my brother fucking my crush.” Castiel replied bitterly as he walked out the door and into the rain.

“Oh…I see…Well…How about we just get you home okay?”

“Fine, whatever.” 


	11. "Cas, buddy, I'm here for ya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i made this chapter a bit shorter because I'm still figuring out what I'm going to do next in the story. its like i know the major plot points i just need to fill in the rest. And I'm sorry i didn't get it up earlier AO3 was having problems last night and I couldn't get to my story so im posting it now.  
> much thanks to Renee my beautiful beta! <3

Castiel was distraught. The young man tried to figure out what exactly he was feeling, and the closest thing he could come up with is “the feeling you might get if you saw your mother get hit by a semi-truck…and then being promptly run over by the same truck.” The bottle of tequila had given him a horrible hangover and, as of right now, Castiel was puking his brains out in the apartment toilet. He had been there, sulking and puking, for the last hour and a half. He would replay that dreadful moment in his head and then proceed to puke up more of the hard liquor that still dwelled in his stomach, over and over again.

“What did I do to deserve this?” He said exhausted as he dipped his head down a little into the white porcelain bowl.

“Well, you must’ve drunk a liquor store to get this hung-over, and if that is the case-which I think it is due to the mostly empty tequila bottle in the living room- then you deserve to puke for years to come.” Dean teased as he came up behind Cas. Even though Dean teased Castiel on his drunken state, you could still hear the soft sympathy in his usually deep and gruff voice. Dean wanted to get down next to Cas and comfort him. He wanted to tell him that Sam didn’t deserve Cas. That Cas deserved someone better, someone that would _be there_ for him. But he didn’t. All Dean did was place a towel next to his friend and said,

“There’s some hang-over recovery food and drinks in the kitchen if you’re up for it. I know how hang-overs go, so it’s gonna be okay as long as-“

“Dean. I don’t really want to talk right now.”

“Cas, I know you’re feeling like shit right now but-“

“Did you know?” Castiel muttered, there was worry mixed with anger in his voice as he slowly moved away from the toilet.

“What?” Dean crouched down next to Cas to hear him better with a concerned look on his face.

“Did. You. Know.” Castiel hissed. He stared up at Dean with a hardness that the other man had never seen on the college student’s face before.

“A-about?...” Dean paused and saw the look in his friend’s eyes.

“N-no. No, of course not! Hell I even punched Sam for what he-” Dean stopped mid-sentence with wide eyes. For a moment Castiel continued to squint at Dean, not sure if he believed him or not. But after a minute of staring into those worried looking emerald orbs, Castiel knew that Dean had been just as surprised to find out about their brothers as he had been. And he had even defended Cas by decking his own brother, which was childish, but still… So Cas nodded and his expression softened and Dean took that as a good sign. Castiel took the towel that Dean had brought him and wiped his mouth.

“I’m feeling a bit better now, thank you.” Castiel said as he began to stand up with shaky legs.  

“Ah, it was no problem…” Dean motioned at the towel and then rose to his feet. They were fairly close to each other. At the most, six inches apart. Neither of them looked at the other as they stood awkwardly next to each other until Castiel slowly glanced up to meet Dean’s gaze.

“I didn’t mean my hangover….”  Castiel said softly. Cas couldn’t believe that Dean would stand up for him, that he cared _that much_ … Cas hoped that he had conveyed what he needed to say to his friend without actually having to say the words; which he did. Dean nodded his head and Castiel slowly made his way out of the bathroom. Dean watched Cas leave the room and head into the kitchen.

“You’re welcome.” Dean quietly sighed to himself. _I just wish I could do more to help you._ Dean thought sadly. 


	12. It'll Get Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THERE! So this chapter is another longer one. hope you guys like it. :) thanks again to my beta Renee who was sick but still edited out all my grammar mistakes. THANK YOU DEAR. Also, I'm loving the COMMENTS and feedback, you guys are awesome! SO THANK YOU GUYS TOO! I wouldn't be able to keep writing without your support. <3  
> Also I am thinking that I will be updating chapters during weekends.  
> So that means you will hopefully get an update between Friday and Sunday every week (if i can stay inspired that is lol)   
> ONE last thing, I am not sure how long this fanfiction is going to be, but plan on it being a fairly long fic, i have lots i want to do with these characters, it's just a matter of me writing it down for you all to see. okay, i'll shut up now and let you read this chapter. :)

Dean always felt like he was a pretty good guy. Sure, sometimes he acted without thinking, and yeah, he’s said some things he’s not proud of. But he had always looked out for Sam and he had always done right by him. So it had come to be kind of a big shock when he had to find out his brothers sexual orientation by walking in on him and his roommates brother having sex, instead of Sam just telling him.

He had never been so angry or disappointed in his brother before that night. So you can’t really blame him for decking Sam on the spot. But it wasn’t just for the fact that Sam didn’t tell him. Even though Dean had _thought_ that they told each other everything. It wasn’t even for the fact that he would probably be emotionally scarred after what he had seen the night of Lucifer’s party. Dean shivered at just the thought…It was because of Cas. It was how Sam had betrayed Cas. Dean knew that Sam was aware of Cas’ feelings. Sam had even told him that he would address Cas about it…Eventually. Dean couldn’t explain it, but it bothered him more that his brother hurt Castiel than any of the other things that Sam had done.

Speaking of which, that night had occurred exactly seven days ago. And for those seven days the same things would happen. Dean would get up to go to work, Cas would be curled into a ball on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. Dean would go to work and Castiel would barely move until he had to go to class. Cas would go to class in his pajamas and as soon as it was over he would go back to the loft, go back to the couch, curl into a ball and watch tv for the remainder of the day.

The only classes that Castiel did not go to were the ones he shared with Sam. And on those days when Dean got home, Castiel was especially moody.  

Today was one of those days.

Castiel was in his usual spot on the couch with Dean’s Star Wars snuggie wrapped around him and a documentary about bees on, when Dean comes in late one night.

“Have you been watching this channel all day?” Dean asks as he walks up behind the couch and leans over Cas’ right.

“The remote is on the table…so yes…” Castiel nods to the coffee table that’s not even two feet away. Dean sighs. Then the awkward silence ensues.

“Did you know that a cat’s penis is sharply barbed along the shaft. I doubt the female cat’s think that’s fun. It’d probably be a bitch to deal with.” Castiel suddenly states.

“What?” Dean glances from the nature program down to his friend. There was another short pause until Dean broke the silence.

“Look, I should have never told you to go and confess your feelings to Sam. If I had just kept my mouth shut. “

“Dean, It’s fine. I would have figured it out eventually... I think it’s better that I knew sooner rather than later.”

After another momentary awkward pause Dean walks around the couch and plops down next to Cas. He doesn’t look at Cas, he just stares at the tv. Castiel gives him a sideways glance and his eyes linger on his friend’s lips as Dean licks them. The two of them sit there for the rest of the night in a comfortable silence. Neither of them know why, but they can only achieve this tranquil state with one another.

The next morning Cas awakes on the couch as usual but he quickly notices that something is off. He yawned and opened his eyes to see that he was on his stomach, which was odd because he normally slept on his side. Then he looked down to see a chest with a partially unbuttoned shirt. Cas’ eyes grew as he realized that Dean was underneath him on the couch. One of Dean’s legs were off the couch and Cas was partially squished between Dean and the back of the couch. His head was lying on Dean’s chest, along with his hand that, despite his better judgment, wouldn’t move off his roommate’s upper body. Dean took in a long, deep breath and Cas froze. _Why is my hearting beating so fast? Why am I freaking out? I just have to get up without waking him._

Slowly Cas got up off Dean, by placing both his hands on Dean’s chest as leverage, and hoisted himself out of the space between Dean and the back of the couch. He was now balanced on top of Dean and looking down at his face. _Now that I think about it, their faces don’t look all that similar. Dean has…softer features._ Cas thought to himself as he stared intently as Dean’s closed eyes. _Dean has been a very good friend to me, especially since Sam and Gabe._ Cas continued to get off Dean and walk into the bathroom where he proceed to splash his face with freezing cold water.

_Beforehand I was determined to get over Sam. I was going to confess and then move on. But seeing Gabe…My brother…Seeing them…together…_ Cas sighed and stared at his reflection his hands on the porcelain sink.

“Well, I was right about one thing…I’m not Sam’s type, no matter what his sexual orientation is.” He said to his reflection.

~*~

The rest of the day seemed a bit off to Dean, he got ready for work like normal but Cas seemed to be avoiding him. _It didn’t freak him out that we fell asleep next to each other on the couch did it? I mean… We didn’t do anything…_ Dean thought to himself.. But he decided not to let whatever happened or didn’t happen affect his day. Unfortunately he didn’t really have a say in it, because he continually and involuntarily thought about Cas all day long. Why was he avoiding eye contact this morning when normally they could stare at each other for a full minute and be completely un-phased? _I need to cheer him up; I need to help him deal with this._ Dean thought to himself. _I need to keep being there for him no matter what._ Sam had called Dean a few times during the past week. At first he refused to answer but he soon started to forgive his brother like he always did. He was still worried about Cas, but he understood that Sam hadn’t meant for it to go down like it had.

“I just need to talk to him Dean. Just for a minute.” Sam continued with his tone sounding stressed and desperate. Dean sighed into the receiver.

“He won’t even answer calls from his brother, at least as far as I know. Sammy… you really messed Cas up.” Dean muttered trying to disguise the pain in his voice.

“I know…” Dean could hear the regret in his brothers voice. It was a familiar sound. Unfortunately Sam regrets many things and feels like he is never good enough for anyone, including his brother…And now his best friend…

“I know that we will probably never be like we were before, but I have to explain it to him. I can’t let it end like this, y’know? Can’t you help?” Sam begged.

“Sam, I’m not sure if seeing you right now is best for him…” Dean replied.

“How would you know what’s best for Cas?! He’s just your roommate, and that’s only because of me! It’s not like he considers you a friend.” Sam snapped. Then there was a pause. It was filled with Sam’s regret.

“I’m sorry Dean, I-I didn’t mean that. I’m just upset. I’m sure you and Cas are good friends. I just…We were best friends…And now… I don’t want to lose his friendship, Dean.” Sam sighed.

“No you’re right. We’re just roommates.” Dean stated as thought about how distant Cas had been that morning. Maybe Cas didn’t really want to be friends with Dean. Especially since Dean was Sam’s brother. _Maybe Cas will want to move out because I remind him too much of Sam. Would he really do that? Where would he go?_ Dean shook his head. He didn’t really want Cas to leave. They were just starting to get along. Or so he thought.

“I’ll talk to him.”

~*~

“Hey Cas, can I talk with you for a second?” Dean sat down on the couch next to Cas who wasn’t wound tightly in a blanket, which Dean took as a good sign.

“Hello Dean.” Cas replied, but there was something odd in his voice that Dean couldn’t quite place.

“You feeling okay?” Dean asked turning to Cas.

“Yes, I’m feeling much better.” Castiel replied with a small smile.

“Really? I mean, that’s good.” Dean let out a smile as well, in spite of himself.

“Yes, I’ve talked with my brother today.”

“Seriously? Woah…Uh, well okay. How’d it go?”

“We had a nice ummm…heart to heart…” Cas smiled to himself.

“And everything is okay?”

“Well, I _am_ still quite shocked by everything…”

“That makes two of us…” Dean interjected quietly. Cas nodded to that.

“But I think I have come to terms with it. I understand that it wasn’t planned. And that neither of them wanted to hurt anyone.” Castiel looked down at his hands as he wrung them together.

“So…You’ve talked with Sam too?” Dean asked.

“Not directly…I think it will take a little bit more time before I can look him in the eyes. I feel more embarrassed than anything… I mean, here I was pining over him for all this time and the whole time they were…Well, it doesn’t really matter anymore…I’ve forgiven them for lying…Even though it stings still I think I will be able to get through this…” Cas looked back up at Dean who stared at Cas with more emotions on his face than he’d care to admit.

“Thank you for being here for me while I deal with this. You are a really good friend…”

This makes Dean smile. He can’t help it. He had been worried since the other day, that Cas didn’t see him as a friend…Just the guy he lived with…Or the brother of his crush who broke his heart. Dean was glad that Cas saw him as more than those things.

“To be honest…I think you are my best friend…” Cas added quietly.

“W-what?” Dean was jolted out of his own thoughts and looked at Cas with wide eyes. _Did he hear Cas right?_

“Uh…never mind…So, what is for dinner, because I’m starving…” Cas smiled brightly as he stood up. Dean was confused a moment but he was quickly captivated by Cas’ broad smile and he grinned back.

“Well, now that you are feeling less depressed I have no reason to make food for you.” Dean teased with his most charming toothy grin.

“You can’t expect me to go back to eating ramen when I have found out that you make such lovely mac and cheese.” Cas let out a small laugh, and Dean took that as a sign that maybe his roommate…his friend… _his best friend_ … (Dean smiled at that last thought)…would be okay.


	13. We're Just Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be the longest chapter I've done for this story. :) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! I hope you guys like this chapter and I hope it explains a few people's POV's. MUCH THANKS TO RENEE MY LOVELY BETA! <3  
> btw there might be another NSFW chapter coming up in the not so distant future, so look forward to some smut! 
> 
> Updates on the weekends (between fridays-sundays) SO FAR SO GOOD!

Cas was back in all his classes a week or so later, not because he was really ready to see Sam but because he couldn’t afford to miss any more classes. However, Cas felt better when he actually walked into the classroom and sat in his seat. Sam wasn’t there yet; to be honest nobody was there yet. Cas was feeling good. And that’s when Sam came in… He wasn’t smiling or laughing or chatting with other students like he normally was. He was staring at his shoes as he entered the room and he didn’t say a word. It actually kind of took Cas by surprise, he could see how distraught Sam was. And Castiel couldn’t help but feel sad for him as well as the initial anger he felt.  

But when Sam saw Cas his eyes brightened like Castiel had never seen before. It was like Sam had seen an angel or something. Sam smiled a wide smile and then his face fell once again back into despair, remembering what he had done. He had lied to his best friend. He had kept the fact that he was bi from Cas and on top of that he had been dating Gabriel, his best friend’s _brother,_ behind his back. Sam lowered his eyes again and approached Cas slowly.

Cas spoke first. “Hello, Sam.” His voice was shaky but Sam didn’t seem to notice.

“Hi Castiel.” He replied quietly.

“So, you’re back in class?” Sam added chancing a glance up to his friends face, then looking back down to the ground.

“Yes… Would you like to sit?” Castiel offered the seat next to him and Sam smiled again before sitting.

“I spoke with my brother…”

“I..I know…He um…told me…”  There was a momentary pause and then they both spoke at the same time.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” Sam said at the same time that Castiel said.

“I understand why you did, what you did.”

“What?” Sam looked up at Cas in confusion.

“I understand why you would be reluctant to tell me that you were with my brother.” Castiel found it a bit scary _how much_ he understood why Sam was so hesitant to tell him about his relationship with Gabe. I mean it was obvious that Cas could understand why Sam would keep his sexuality a secret, I mean, Hell, Cas didn’t come out until Sophomore year of high school because he was so scared of his homophobic father. He had seen how his father had treated Gabe when he had come out a few years prior and Cas hated the thought of not being able to see his other siblings because he was gay…But why was it that Cas understood Gabe and Sam’s relationship? More importantly why was he so quick to be okay with it?

“Really? So you’re not angry that I lied to you?” Sam asked with deep worry in his eyes.

“I-I’m a bit annoyed that you didn’t feel you could tell me these things but… I’m not angry Sam.”

Sam nodded and sighed. Cas could tell he was somewhat relieved but he could also see that something else was bothering Sam. However, Castiel didn’t pry when Sam had nothing more to add to the conversation. So for the rest of the class the two men were almost completely silent. But close to the end of the lecture Sam turned to Castiel and said,

“So…Charlie’s birthday is coming up. I was thinking we could…um…have a party for her…”

“That sounds very nice.” Castiel replied cautiously, unsure what Sam was trying to get at.  A small pause passed and Sam continued.

“Do you think we could have it in your and Dean’s apartment? It’s bigger than any of the other places I’ve checked out and Charlie’s always liked hanging with you guys there. Or so she tells me…”

For some reason Castiel wanted to scream at Sam. To tell him “No” and get up and walk away. But for some God awful reason his response was,

“I suppose so, I’m sure Dean would love to have a party; lots of girls to flirt with and all.”

Sam stopped a moment. He thought that was kind of a weird thing to say, but then again Cas wasn’t average.

“Okay..Um cool I’ll text you the details later.”

~*~

The Next Weekend

“Cas are you sure about this party? We can still cancel it.” Dean was saying as he finished decorating the cake that Cas had made earlier.

“No, it’s fine really. I can handle them being here together. Even if this was shorter notice than I originally thought.”  Cas replied as he put down the frosting. Dean looked over at him suspiciously, as if silently asking “ARE YOU POSITIVE???”. Cas smiled at that thought.

“Really…I’ll be fine.” Cas, still grinning, bumped his hip into Dean’s hip. Dean then turned to Cas with a face of mock shock, and proceed to put frosting on his best friend’s nose.

“Hey!” Cas laughed and reached for his frosting just as a knock at the door came. Cas froze, mid lunge and looked towards the door. He looked back at Dean who grinned and said,

“Showtime.”

The guests began arriving to the house more frequently after that, and by 10:30 the party was in full swing. Charlie wore a paper crown that Cas had crafted from toilet paper rolls and glue and  Samandriel came because Castiel felt he needed to pay him back for the ride from Lucifer’s.

“Hey there boys, thanks again for throwing this shindig for me, I really appreciate it.”  Charlie said as she slung her arms around Dean and Cas, almost spilling the drink that Cas had been nursing the entire night.

“No problem Charlie.” Dean grinned happily but he was staring at Cas. Cas turned a bright pink when he noticed Dean was staring and turned to Charlie.

“It was our pleasure.”

Charlie let out a laugh and patted them on the backs, figuratively and literally and left them to join up with her girlfriend Dorothy. That’s when Cas saw Sam…And Gabe. They were holding hands and standing near the kitchen entry way talking with Sam’s friend, Allie.

“You okay?” Cas heard softly in his ear. Castiel turned to see Dean leaned in close to him with a concerned face. Cas’ eyes grew wide for a moment before glancing over at Gabe and Sam again.

“No, yeah. I’m fine. Really.” Cas let out a nervous laugh and looked back to Dean.

“Are you ever going to stop asking me that?” Cas smiled a sad smile. Dean bit the inside of his cheek for a minute then leaned even closer to Cas and replied.

“Only when I believe your answer.”

“OKAY! LET’S PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!!” Gabe’s voice echoed throughout the apartment. Cas jerked at the sudden sound and almost hit heads with Dean. Thankfully, Dean had already backed up. That’s when Samandriel approached them.

“um, Castiel, do you want to play?”

“Oh, Uh. No thank you. I don’t really…” Cas stopped as he seen Sam and Gabe both head toward the circle…Dean saw as Cas watched them intently and from behind Cas, Dean said in a warning tone,

“Cas…”

“Sure…Let’s go.”

Castiel then quickly headed for the circle that was forming, followed by Samandriel and a determined Dean. After the group was formed Dean sitting one side of Cas, Samandriel on the other and Sam and Gabe across from them, Dean mutters,

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…”

“It’s not my fault there are barely any women here. Besides you chose to join us.” Castiel hissed back quietly.

“Yeah, to stop you from doing something stupid. And it’s not the lack of women it’s th-”

“Yeah, well. I don’t need your help.” Castiel snapped back quickly…That shut Dean up pretty fast.

“Cas! You want to start?” Gabe says, suddenly interrupting Dean and Cas’ hushed conversation.

“Um…Sure…”

Castiel spun the bottle and surprisingly he realized he didn’t want it to land on Sam.  He wanted it to land on...No one in particular…Just…Not Sam…

Gradually the bottle began to slow. The end pointed to the faces around the circle. Gabe…Sam…Some random guy…Charlie…Dorothy…Dean…

Cas had no idea why but he held his breath as the bottle came up on Dean…Then it passed his friend, himself and landed on…Samandriel.

Someone might have misconstrued Dean as a cartoon character based on how far his eyes bulged out of his head when the bottle stopped on Samandriel. Cas held a similar expression as he stared at the young man.

“I-If you don’t want to I completely understand…”

“No, no. I do, it’s just…” Before Cas could even finished his thought, Samandriel took him by the collar and laid one on him. Cas’ eyes were still wide with shock as Samandriel kissed Castiel full on the lips, still gripping the young man’s collar with vigor. Dean could only stare on, internally fuming and leaning towards becoming irate. Dean had no idea why he was so bothered by this, but he didn’t really want to think about it right now. _Especially with his best friend lip-locking with the local busboy right in front of him._ When Samandriel finally let go of Cas and they separated from each other, Cas just stared at the wall in confusion as the game of spin the bottle continued around him. He had been completely unprepared for that. It wasn’t completely terrible, but somehow it felt…

“Dude. You okay?” Dean asked. Now that Samandriel wasn’t attached to Cas’ lips, Dean felt he could talk without screaming like a baboon.

Cas glanced over to where Samandriel had been, but now all that remained was an empty spot. Castiel looked over at Dean who was staring at Cas with an odd expression.

“OKAY! It’s my turn!” Gabe called as he spun the bottle.

“Oh! Lucky me! It lands on the hottest guy at the party!” Gabe laughs as the bottle stops on Sam. Cas looks over then and watches as Gabe kisses Sam, and quickly what seemed like an innocent kiss turned into a heated make out session, where Gabe seemingly had no inhibitions. Cas stood up.

He wasn't quite sure whether it was the kiss he shared with Samandriel or the kiss his brother shared with Sam, but Cas couldn’t breathe. He needed to leave. So he stood up and exited the apartment and began pacing the hall. Soon after, Dean emerged with more than concern on his face, then Gabe and Sam arrived to join the party.

“What’s the matter Cas?” Sam asked as he and Gabe stood in front of Cas, hand in hand.

“Don’t call me that.” Castiel spit bitterly. Sam recoiled.  Castiel took a shaky breath, and then let out an angry scoff.

“Are you seriously asking me that? Don’t you understand? No… I suppose you wouldn’t…It’s funny really, because normally I’m the one who doesn’t understand the references when we converse.” Castiel replied with scorn.

“Castiel, I thought we already overcame this…You said you were okay with us…” Sam said cautiously.

“I thought I was as well… But, God! I was in _love_ with you! For an entire year, you were the only person I ever thought about. I was there for you, I told you all of my secrets, and you repay my friendship and loyalty with… _lies._ I know that you didn’t mean for this to happen, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but DAMMIT SAM, YOU DID. YOU HURT ME, AND I AM TRYING. I REALLY AM. But…I just...I need some more time…” Castiel didn’t notice the tears until he was done talking and by then he couldn’t stop them from falling down his cheeks. He slowly made his way to the wall and slid down it and sat silently as tears continued to falls.

“I think we should go.” Gabe says to Sam quietly.

“Yes…I think you should.” Castiel adds with a tad less anger than before, but it was still there, still hovering just below the surface. When Gabe and Sam were gone the hallway was quiet again. Dean slowly approached Cas and sat next to him. Neither of them said anything, which was okay because this was natural for the two of them. Dean lifted his arm and slung it over Cas’ shoulder and pulled him in towards him as Cas let the tears flow. After a while, after Cas was done crying, Dean turned to his friend. He still held onto his shoulder as he took the other shoulder in his other hand. He stared into Cas’ eyes and spoke with a strong sincerity,

“You’re gonna be okay.”

“How do you know? Let me guess, you ‘just know these things.’ Right?” Cas replied.

“No, I know you’re gonna be okay because you are the strongest person I have ever met… You are smart, funny, in a nerdy sort of way, kind and loyal. And I am 100% sure that Sam chose the wrong Novak brother.”

“Dean…” Castiel was almost speechless. He had never heard Dean say anything even remotely close to what he had just said. Normally Dean would call it a chick flick moment, but right now Dean just stared at Cas with his big, stupid, green eyes and Cas couldn’t help but lean in towards them. Dean glanced down at Cas’ lips and licked his own, but Cas didn’t really seem to care. He continued to lean forward, and now so was Dean. They were getting closer and closer, their lips just inches apart. Dean began to close his eyes, so Cas did the same. They could feel each other’s breath. Neither of them knew what they were doing, but neither of them really seemed to care at the moment. They leaned in just a little bit further…

“Hey boys! We’re about to cut the OH! Hey!”

Charlie’s abrupt voice startled both men and they sprang away from each other faster than you could say “Forgive me father for I have sinned.” Which was what both men were starting to think as Cas wiped the last of his tears and Dean scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“Okay, I’m just gonna head back inside. You two come in when you’re ready.” Charlie smiled as she disappeared behind the door.

Dean cleared his throat and stood up. He and Cas both headed for the door and awkwardly tried to both go through the doorway at the same time. But once through the door successfully, Cas had an awful feeling that being Dean’s roommate was going to become much more difficult.

**~*~*~**


	14. Family Is Where The Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really quick, a small NSFW warning, more masturbating. Yay!  
> There will be better smut later just not quite yet.  
> THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS  
> MUCH THANKS TO RENEE MY LOVELY BETA  
> Renee's tumblr: http://00skyfall.tumblr.com/

Charlie Bradbury was born on November 15, which meant that in the following weeks after Charlie’s birthday it quickly got colder and colder until the first snow of the year happened on December 14. This also meant that Dean and Cas had been roommates for roughly 5 months, which was quite a long time according to Dean. On the night of the first snow, Dean had come home from work at Bobby’s bundled in a giant brown coat, green scarf, and big black mittens.

“Dude! You would not believe how much snow is coming down out there!” Dean called as he took off his boots and coat. There was silence in the apartment, which was odd because Cas hadn’t had class that day because it was a Friday.

“Cas?” Dean called out as he walked into the living room. Suddenly, Dean could hear shouting from his bedroom. Alarmed, he quickly ran toward his bedroom door but then paused. _What if it wasn’t angry shouts?_ He thought in terror. _What if Cas is in there…_ Dean shook his head, for some reason that thought really irked the young man. But then, Dean could hear what Cas was saying through the door.

“Father can you just let me talk to Michael? It will only be for a few minutes, I have a question about- NO I AM NOT HAVING SEX. THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH-Father, _please. This is just who I am I can’t just **change** on a whim. What? WHAT? _ THE WINCHESTERS ARE NOT _VAGRANTS_! Father…Sam is not the one that _turned_ me, as you put it…I already knew that before- Father stop it!” Castiel had been in Dean’s bedroom for at least an hour yelling with his father about whether or not he would get to see the rest of the family for the holidays. Castiel was on the verge now, he was exhausted and infuriated with his father and out of anger  he spun towards the door and threw his phone at it. He just couldn’t help himself. Conversations with his father were never something he looked forward to. A startled gasp came from the other side of the door and Cas tilted his head in confusion as the door slowly creaked open to reveal Dean’s surprised and worried face.

“Uh…not to alarm you but I think our neighbors called the cops. I’m pretty sure they think you finally murdered me.” Dean said as he came in. It was meant as a joke but Cas wasn’t in the mood to laugh. Dean sighed when Cas looked away and sat solemnly on the bed.

“You want to talk about it?” Dean asked as he came up beside Cas, who had taken to staring at the carpet with more intensity than he really meant. Castiel looked up when he felt Dean sit next to him on the bed and bumped into his side with his shoulder. This gesture was known to Cas as the “Don’t be so gloomy bump” from Dean’s many gestures.

“It’s my father…” Castiel finally said after a while of them just sitting in silence. Dean looked at Cas who was looking at the floor again. Dean frowned when he saw how distressed Cas looked, like he had been fighting a long and hard battle. A battle that he wasn’t sure he was going to win. Dean patiently waited for Cas to continue.

“He has always been the religious type, you see. He is a very stubborn man, and he doesn’t believe…He never really accepted me. Or Gabriel….He had certain ideals… He never wanted us to be this-I’m not making any sense am I?” Castiel glanced at Dean who was intently staring at him. Cas looked away and started again.

 “Okay…When I was a sophomore in High School, I had already figured out that I like men. So had Gabriel. Gabriel is just a few years older than me. He was a senior in high school when he came out to our father. Well, things didn’t go the way Gabriel had hoped for… Let’s just say that he was no longer welcomed in our home. Since then I had been terrified to be myself, to act the way I wanted, to be who I wanted to be with. To be frank, I was terrified of my father.” Castiel refused to look at Dean. Even though he knew now that Dean was a good man at heart, he still had an irrational fear that maybe Dean would laugh at him. But instead, Castiel felt that same nudge to his side, telling him it was “okay” and urging him to continue his story. So Castiel did.

“Once I was in college I felt much freer than I did while living with my family. I was able to go to gay bars, even though I rarely went to them alone and for the first time I wasn’t worried what my father thought. That’s when I had met Sam as well. He was so confident in his own skin, and he was kind. But telling him I was gay was one of the most difficult things I had ever done, because of what happened between my father and Gabe. He had said it was just me trying to be like Gabe and said that I would meet a nice girl in college. He didn’t understand at all…That’s why I was so relieved that your brother had accepted me for who I was. But then almost halfway through the year last year, my father paid me a surprise visit. He saw how I looked at Sam, he also caught me lying to him about going to a gay bar that Sam had dragged me to while my father had been in town. From that moment on I was disowned like my bother. I haven’t seen my sister Anna or my brother Michael since I left for college. So it’s been about two years since I’ve seen them.”

After Castiel had finished he looked up to Dean with his worried, blue eyes. Dean couldn’t help it, but as soon as he seen the way Cas looked at him he wanted to kiss him. His cheeks turned a deep pink as he spoke to Cas.

“My father wasn’t as religious as yours, but he was a pretty stubborn old bird. He died a few years back from liver cancer…” Dean started, he wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say but he knew what he was feeling so he continued.

 “My dad was, well, he was a pretty shitty dad, too. But honestly Cas… If my dad was anything like yours, I would’ve punched him into next week and then back again… No parent should ever make their child _fear_ them. It’s just not right. No matter what the parent thinks, no matter what they want, they should never shame their kids like he did to you and your brother. Parents should love you no matter what, because that’s what family is. And Cas, you are worth so much more than how he was treating you. You deserve a better family. _No one_ , especially not your father, should treat you like that.”

“But-“ Cas begins to protest with tears in his eyes.

“ _No one._ ” Dean repeats with authority. That’s when Cas lost what little composure he had been carrying. He buried his face into Dean’s chest, tears streaming down his face, probably staining Dean’s shirt. But neither of them cared, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him closer.

No one, not even his brother, had said anything like that to him. Nobody had ever said that Castiel deserved _anything._ But Dean, his friend, someone he’s only known for a few months, told him the things he had needed to hear from his family for years. It was several minutes later when they finally pulled apart. Against his better judgment Dean stared at Castiel and slowly said with serious emerald eyes,

“That was the biggest chick flick moment I have ever experienced.”  Then he broke into a wide grin. That eased the tension as Cas laughed out heartily, instantly putting him in a much better mood.

“How is it, that you are always there when I need you the most?” Castiel said still smiling. Dean blushed as he stood up and said in a nonchalant voice.

“I’m just multi-talented like that.” But inside, Dean’s heart fluttered at Cas’ words. He felt warm just thinking that he could always be there for Cas. _Winchester you can’t go down that road. You can’t let him in, you know that._

“Yes, I suppose you are. So how about you use those skills and do the dishes and take out the trash.” Cas chuckled standing up as well.

“What? Have you _seen_ the snow out there?? We might be stuck inside all weekend.” Dean said dramatically, although he had a sneaky suspicion that that could end up actually to be true.

“Well then you should do it before it gets too heavy then, shouldn’t you.” Cas smiles a small smile.

“Pssh, thanks but no thanks.”

“Well, can you at least get out while I change?” Cas asks as his cheeks turn pink. Dean glances over at him before nodding awkwardly.

“Oh. Uh yeah sure.” And with that Dean left the room and made a bee-line for the bathroom.

~*~*~

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed as soon as Dean left the room. He sighed and looked at his shaking hands. He was feeling a little bit better, but his mind was still clouded with missing his siblings and the memories of his verbally abusive father… _But Dean…Dean has been there for me. Through what happened with Sam and now the issues with my father. Somehow he just pops up when I need someone. I’ve never had someone who was always there for me…It’s nice…It’s more than nice…I know he can’t fix all of my problems but he’s making them much easier to deal with._

Suddenly Cas got a strange feeling. A familiar feeling, one that had normally been reserved for….

~*~*~

Dean splashed cold water in his face. Then he stared at his reflection, then he splashed more water, then buried his face in his hands. _I am way too worked up to go back out there right now._ Dean thought solemnly. He looked down at himself and seen that he was fashioning a nice erection under his jeans. _You have got to be kidding. How did I get that worked up??... I should just go take a shower. _So Dean took off his work jeans, his boxers and grey, tear stained shirt and stepped into the shower.

Ten minutes later Dean was shaking as he ran his fingers over the sensitive skin of his full erection. It hadn’t taken him very long to get there, he just had to think about Cas’ blue eyes staring at him. Those crystal blue, intense eyes.

“UUUhhhhhh.” Dean groaned as he ran his thumb over the tip, pre cum slowly leaking out. If you had asked Dean 6 months ago if he would be jerking off to the image of best friend and roommate in the shower, he would have laughed in your face. But now…well, now it was a different story.

He had one hand on the wall in front of him to steady himself as the other stroked his cock. His head hung low as he watched his hand move up and down on the shaft. He twisted it and groaned again, catching himself before he let Cas’ name spill out as well. Slowly Dean reached behind himself and played loosely with the puckered little slit. He had never even thought about anything going back there, but he started to imagine Cas behind him. Grabbing his ass, squeezing, spreading him open and

“Oh fuck… Fuck, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUUUUCKKKK.” Dean erupted over his hand and on the shower wall as he came in long spurts. He hadn’t come that hard in a _very_ long time. By the time he was done, he was shaky in the knees and he needed to sit down. Little did he know that Cas was in a much similar state, only 15 feet away, on his bed. 


	15. Snowhere To Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> small nsfw warning but not a really big one. thanks to renee <3   
> this chapter was inspired by the ice storm we had recently.

****

“You mean to tell me that we are snowed in?” Castiel asked as he pushed the blinds aside to look down at the snow covered street.

“Well there’s a blizzard warning and we’re expected to get at least 3 feet of snow.” Dean replied, as he poured hot water into two coffee mugs.

“Are you kidding with me Dean? Because you know how I am with your jokes.” Cas said as he squinted at Dean over his shoulder.

“No Cas, I’m not kidding.” Dean chuckled as he mixed in the hot coco mix.

“We’re gonna be stuck here all weekend, maybe even into next week.” He added as he tapped the spoon on the side of one of the mugs and picked both of them up, one in each hand.

“Wait, but I have a physics test on Tuesday, I can’t miss that.” Castiel replied with distress as he walked across the living room toward Dean, who was now exiting the kitchen.

“Well, I don’t think it will be a problem, especially if there’s nobody at the college.” Dean laughs handing Cas one of the mugs carefully.

“I suppose you’re right. But what about your job?” Cas asked as he sat on the couch.

“What about it?” Dean countered as he turned to picked up the remote from the coffee table. Castiel couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on Deans backside as he bent over to retrieve the remote.

Cas was still staring when Dean stood back up and then Castiel realized that Dean had asked him a question in response to his question. Dean smirked as he sat next to Cas on the couch and plopped his slippered feet up onto the coffee table.

“It’s just that, won’t Bobby need you there? Isn’t that your only source of income?”

“Yeah, so? Isn’t you’re only source of income at the school’s library. I figure, if I can’t make some cash, I might as well enjoy being stuck here with a nerdy dude who likes physics.” Dean grins at Cas, who in turn, blushes into his coffee mug as he takes a drink.

“I don’t _like_ it, per say. I just don’t want to fail.” Cas mumbled as he glanced at the tv. Dean looked at the tv as well, still grinning, and turned it onto the nature channel. Just because he knew Cas liked it.

~*~*~

“It’s okay Sam. They’re in their apartment, they’re safe.  Apparently I woke the lovebirds up when I called to check on them.” Gabe said as he patted Sam’s knee. Sam sighed and stood up. He was at Gabe’s motel room (since his apartment owners decided it was a good idea to do renovations in the middle of winter therefore he was staying in the same place he was when it was being fumigated) when the blizzard hit and decided staying another night or two wouldn’t hurt. But he had been really worried about Dean and Cas. Ever since Charlie’s party Sam barely talked to Cas. He talked to Dean, but even when they spoke Sam could tell there was something that Dean wasn’t saying. Gabe could see that not talking to Cas and Dean was getting to him. He stood up from the bed as well and walked over to Sam.

Gabe stood behind him and wrapped his arms around Sam. They just barely made it around the large man’s torso. Gabe was an even 5 foot 8 inches whereas his boyfriend was a good 6 feet and 6 inches. So the sight of Gabriel holding Sam from behind might seem a little odd, but for them it felt natural and comforting, especially for the big and brooding Sam.

He smiled and turned to face Gabe as he wrapped his arms around Gabriel and pulled him in closer.  
“I just worry about them.” Sam says as he looks down at Gabe.

“I know you do, but we just have to let them cool down. Maybe the blizzard will help with that.” Gabe teased as he stroked the side of Sam’s face gently with his hand. Sam smiled, Gabe always knew how to make him feel better _, and it’s one of the things that I love about him._ Sam paused. He thought it was funny that he had thought that without even really trying. Sam let out a small laugh and kissed Gabe’s forehead.

“What’s so funny, it can’t be my joke that did it.” Gabe laughed.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how lucky I am.” Sam replied looking down at Gabriel with soft, warm eyes. Gabe returned the favor with a loving gaze that stuck to Sam like glue.

“That _is_ funny, cause I was just thinking the same thing.”

~*~*~

“That was Gabe, he just wanted to know where we were and if we were safe.” Castiel replied putting his cellphone on the coffee table. He and Dean had fallen asleep and were on the couch with a throw covering the both of them. Castiel leaned back into his position on the couch and then promptly realized how close Dean and him had been while sleeping. Even while he was talking with Gabriel on the phone he had been laying back comfortably, not noticing the proximity of Dean. Dean had one arm up on the top of the couch above Cas’ head and Cas was partially leaning into the side of Dean’s chest. Quickly Cas moved away as Dean slowly sat up more on the couch.

“I-I’m uh..sorry…I must have fallen asleep.” Castiel added while standing up. He wore his faded jeans, socks, and a plain black t-shirt that was a bit too small.

“It’s fine, I needed a few minutes of shut-eye, too. You make a pretty good blanket.” Dean chuckled, and he could have sworn he seen Cas blush just before his friend looked up and stretched his arms above his head.  Dean raked his eyes over Cas as the shirt rode up on his stomach. Dean couldn’t help but stare at the small tuff of light brown hair that trailed downward from Cas’ belly button. When Cas let his arms drop, relaxed by his side, he caught Dean staring intently as his lower torso. That’s also when Dean glanced up and saw that Cas had caught him staring. There was a moment of awkward silence as the two stared at each other, much like they have done before. But this time was different. Neither of them could say exactly what it was, but _something_ was different in the air. There was a… _spark._ That neither of them could identify. There was an electric vibe that coursed between blue and green eyes, and neither of them knew exactly what to do. Thankfully for Dean, Cas was the one to break eye contact first and with it he turned and went into the bathroom, not saying one word about what he had caught Dean doing.

Saturday Morning

“ _Caass…Oh, Caaaaassss. Wake up sleeping beauty. Guess what?”_ Dean’s voice was low and gravelly in Cas’ ear, it was unexpected but not unwelcomed.

“mmpfffnnghhh.” Cas mumbles into his pillow that is almost falling off the couch.

“You get a snow day today…Actually the whole city gets a snow day.” Dean laughs from somewhere in the living room.

“We got up to 3 feet last night.” One of Cas’ eyes slowly opens at the sound of this news and he quickly regrets it when he is face to face with a smiling Dean.

“Gooood Morning!” Dean grins and then backs away, quickly realizing that personal space is a big issue for the both of them. Cas frowns a bit at the loss of warmth that Dean had been providing, but he slowly sits up and wraps his blanket around himself.

“Are you sure I don’t have classes?”

“Cas, half the damn city is without power, the college included. It’s a miracle we still got lights, there must be some angels smiling down on us.” Dean says as he sits next to Cas.

“And don’t worry about me, even Bobby couldn’t make it to work today, so he’s giving us the day off, too.” Dean adds as he turns on the news. Cas sneaks a quick glance at Dean as his roommate watches the tv screen with mild interest.

 _It’s undeniable at this point that what I’m feeling is more than just physical attraction._ Cas thinks to himself grimly. _But is this feeling because I really like Dean more than just a friend or…or is it  because he’s Sam’s brother?_ Dean looks over at Cas who is staring at him with an odd expression and Dean cracks a smile.

“Earth to Cas, you okay there buddy? If you’re still tired enough to daze out, you can go and sleep in my bed.” Dean says.

“What time is it?”

“About 5am…”

“Thank you.” Cas murmured softly as he got up and shuffled into the darkened bedroom with his blankets still wrapped around his body like a human burrito.  A few hours later Cas awoke to find a coffee mug filled with tea on the beside with a sticky note that read,

_Went outside to check on Baby. Won’t take very long, brb soon._

_-Dean_

Cas smiled in spite of himself. Dean didn’t have to leave him tea, or even a note. Nobody had ever done anything like that, and even though it was a small thing, Cas couldn’t help but get a warm feeling at the thought that Dean really cared about him.

The entire day consisted of Dean and Cas watching animal planet (and a few episodes of Dr. Sexy M.D. forced by Dean). By the time dinner rolled around both men had completely lost track of the time due to the fact that Dean was trying to teach Cas how to play Monopoly.

The both of them had moved the coffee table and displayed the boardgame out on the floor, which is where they both were now, sitting on the living room floor with Monopoly money spread out around them.

“Aww bummer, you have to go to jail again.” Dean says with mock sympathy.

“I do believe you are cheating Mr. Winchester.” Cas replied as he squinted at his companion and held a small smirk.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about _. You_ pulled the card out of the deck, not me…” Dean grinned a toothy grin and that’s when Cas knew Dean was bluffing. Castiel leapt over the board and playfully reached for Dean’s sleeve, trying to reveal the hidden cards. Completely taken by surprise Dean falls backward onto his back with Cas straddling him grabbing at his wrists. Dean laughs as Castiel pins both of Dean’s wrists down and holds them in place with one hand and pulls out the hidden cards with the other.

“I knew it.” Castiel says with satisfaction.

“Haha okay okay you got me. Now let me up.” Dean chuckles.

“Hmm. Why should I? You’re acting like a child, with your cheating at board games, why not treat you like a child.” Castiel smiles as Dean sighs in defeat. Cas is in control and he knows that Dean knows that.

“Come on Cas, let me up. “ Dean says with a sigh.

“What? You can’t get me off of you? I thought you were stronger than that, Winchester.” Castiel mocked as he leans down to get in Dean’s face with a cocky smile of victory.

“I could if I wanted to, but I don’t wanna hurt ya.” Dean replies. Their faces were only inches away from each other now.

“Haha, sure.” Castiel says, but for some reason his voice is quieter.

“Seriously though Cas, get off.” Dean says and something in his tone changed. Cas wasn’t sure what it was though. Dean cleared his throat and swallowed. He knew why he had to get Cas off of him, because Cas would soon feel Dean’s growing erection poking into him and Dean could _not_ let that happen.

“I don’t know Dean. If you can get me off why don’t you just prove it.” Cas continues with his taunt which isn’t helping Dean in the slightest, in fact, Castiel’s playful and carefree tone were turning on Dean more than ever.

“Dammit Cas! Get off me!” Dean hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but he had to get up, like _NOW._ Startled, Cas awkwardly got up off Dean who then promptly stood and tried to nonchalantly put his hands in front of himself and go to his bedroom. Cas just stands out in the living room, confused and for some reason he feels like he did something wrong. _Did I upset him? Did I say something wrong? What did I do?_ After having a minor internal struggle with himself, Castiel decided to go and talk to Dean. _I’ll just ask him what I did, just be direct with him. Well, I can’t be **too** direct with him, but still. _

Cas heads through the living room with determination and walks into Dean’s room without knocking, which he quickly regrets as he comes face to face with Dean, half naked on his bed, hand on a fully erect cock and a look of surprise at seeing Castiel. 


	16. Take Care of Me, Accept Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter's a little late guys my beta was busy so this chapter is non-beta'd.  
> I hope you guys like this chapter i might take a small hiatus next week.

Dean comes hard. He comes hard and fast, and right in front of Castiel. As one could imagine the situation was awkward to say the least. Dean quickly grabbed the towel that was on the floor by his bed and covered himself up as Cas was frozen stiff to his spot. Well, that is until he heard Dean yelling at him to “Get the hell out of my room!!” Castiel was jolted out of his stupor and practically ran out of the room. What was he going to do? He just caught Dean, well; _you know_ …Cas began to blush just at the mere thought of what Dean had been doing.

“He was so angry.” Cas whispered to himself as he entered the living room. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. _Should I leave? Would that make it less weird?_ He thought that would be the best option, even though he didn’t really want to go out in 4 feet of snow and ice. But he couldn’t stand the thought of Dean yelling at him some more for his own stupidity. So Castiel grabbed his trench coat, his long black scarf and headed out into the cold.

***

Dean screamed into a pillow. He kicked himself for not locking the door. He hadn’t really thought about it at the time, to be fair he was kind of in a rush. He had practically leapt onto his bed and stripped down. He couldn’t help it that Cas was turning him on so much, but he had to relieve some of the pressure. So he did what any other person would do. And if he was thinking about Cas’ blue eyes and imagining his hard cock up against his body, then that was his business.  He had gotten into a nice rhythm fairly fast pumping and thrusting and  not before long he was getting insanely close to the edge and that’s when everything went to shit.

Cas had entered just as Dean was coming all over himself, he looked up to see Cas’ blue eyes wide and locked on his. Then he saw that Cas’ eyes lowered to his spent cock and stuck there like glue. Dean turned redder than a fire truck. He never wanted Cas to see him in such a compromising situation! I mean, he had maybe _fantasied_ something similar to this when he was jerking himself off but to actually _experience_ it?  Nope. NO THANK YOU. _He’s just gonna think of me as a horn dog now._ Dean thought bitterly to himself. _Just some idiot who only thinks about cars and sex. Some heterosexualidiot who isn’t good enough for someone like him. Goddammit! Why is he still staring?! Stop staring! You can’t think of me like this! Don’t look at me like that! You can’t do this to me! I think I might actually like you!_ The realization chilled Dean to his core. He really did care about Cas, as more than just a roommate or his best friend. He had never felt like this with any other man before. Actually he had never felt this way with any other woman before either, if he was being completely honest with himself. This thought scared the shit out of him. He had been trying to deny it but it was true, he really liked Castiel. And now he’s totally fucked everything up. Cas would never see him as anything but a _Neanderthal._ And that angered him. He was angry at himself for not being about to be what Cas needed. He was angry that that he wasn’t good enough for Cas. He was so angry at himself he couldn’t really stop the words when they slipped out.

“Get the _hell_ out of my room!!”

~*~*

Castiel was freezing but he wasn’t quite ready to go back to the apartment. There was practically no one on the roads, which Cas was fine with. He actually preferred the solidarity of his walk. He had his hands in his trench coat pockets and his big black scarf that his sister had made him, wrapped around his neck a few times. Castiel sighed and could see his foggy breath escape his lips and into the open air.

“Dean probably thinks I’m a pervert. Granted I didn’t know what he was doing when I went in but once in there…I couldn’t help myself…” Castiel paused and bashfully thought about Dean’s cock. He had arrived in the room just as Dean was at the peak of his orgasm and Cas knew he should have turned around right then and there and left the room, but he didn’t. He just stood there and stared at Dean as his face contorted in pleasure and when Dean caught his eye, Castiel was too scared to move. They had stared at each other for what seemed like forever, even though it was probably only a few seconds. But as they stared Cas couldn’t help it, his eyes were pulled back to Dean’s waning erection and couldn’t stop staring until Dean’s harsh words woke him up from his minor daydream.

“Get the hell out of my room!” His voice still rung in Cas’ ears. He was such a freak! He was taught from childhood that his thoughts were impure. That they were wrong. But he never doubted his feelings until he seen Dean’s face. He seen anger in that face, and he was sure it was directed at him. _He probably thinks that all gays are perverts now, thanks to me. He will most likely be too uncomfortable to even be in the same room as me. I’m going to have to move out and live in my car…_ Cas sighed. _Dean wouldn’t kick me out. I think I know him well enough for that. But still…He probably hates me. God, he was so angry… Or at the least thinks I’m a freak…And we were getting along so well…Why do I always screw things up?_

Cas sniffed and wiped his nose with a handkerchief. It was really cold out, well below freezing, he was sure. The wind wasn’t helping either. Cas’ eyes began to sting and water as the wind blew directly into them. _I suppose I should go back before I get frost bite…_ Cas thought to himself. _Although, frost bite might be easier to deal with than whatever Dean is going to say to me. I really hope he doesn’t think I’m a freak of nature._ Cas turned around on the empty street. _Wait…where am I? Everything looks different with snow._  Cas thought anxiously.  He looked down the street both ways and then headed back towards what he thought might be the way to the apartment and his roommate.

An Hour Later 

Dean was sitting on the couch with his face in his hands when the front door opened. Dean got up with a worried look and headed toward the door. There he found Cas hunched over, leaning against the door frame and shivering like nobody’s business.

“Cas? CAS! Where the hell were you? I was fuckin’ worried man! You could have called or something.” Dean said as he reached for Cas as the young man began to slump.

“L-left phone at h-home.” Cas said as he shivered some more. Dean took hold of Cas and stopped. Cas was freezing. Even through his trench coat he could tell Cas was colder than ice.

“Dude, what happened?”

“I…I got l-lost. S-snow is v-very deceiving.” Cas replied trying to walk into the living room, Dean wanted to laugh at the cute comment but instead he helped his friend out of his trench and lead him to the couch.

“Cas you’re gonna get sick if we don’t warm you up like, asap.” Dean said.

“Okay.” Cas said curling in on himself on the couch.

“I’ll get you some sweats and tea.”

“Y-you don’t have to. I can d-do it myself.”

“Cas, you’re a freakin’ ice cube. Just stay put and I’ll get what you need.” Dean says as he goes to his bedroom. _I just wish he needed me._ He thought to himself. Dean came back with a pair of his sweats since Cas didn’t really _own_ sweats. Which was something that Dean had teased Cas about multiple times.

“T-thank you.” Cas was barely coherent as he was handed a pair of grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He didn’t even think about it as he shakily stood and began to strip out of his wet and cold clothes. Dean practically fainted at the sight of Cas’ back muscles. Who knew he was hiding all that under his sweater vests and baggy t-shirts? Dean knew he shouldn’t watch, especially because he was 95% sure Cas was _totally_ out of it, because what else would explain Cas stripping in front of Dean in the living room, but Dean found himself watching carefully as Cas pulled off his wet button up shirt, toss it to the side and put on the Dean’s sweatshirt. Then Cas’ flopped onto the couch and started to yank off his soaking jeans and proceed to pull on the sweat bottoms as well, all while Dean secretly ogled him from behind. Dean took a deep breath to stop himself from getting too worked up and then went into the kitchen to get Cas some hot tea.

When Dean returned to the living room he found Cas fast asleep and still shivering on the couch. Dean frowned as he felt Cas’ forhead. He had a fever. Dean got a blanket from his room and laid it over Cas and set the tea on the coffee table. _I guess in a way he needs me now._ Dean thought to himself, however it wasn’t the sort of need he was looking for. _It’s the best I’m going to get though, isn’t it? I’m just a drop out turned mechanic. He’s going to college and making something of himself, and he’s like 4 years younger than me! FUCK._

From beside him Castiel coughs harshly and mumbles something unintelligible. But from the looks of Cas’ face the young man seemed distressed. At least that’s what it looked like to Dean. So he went into the bathroom and got some fever medicine and tried to help Cas take it.

“Come on Cas, just take this and you’ll feel better I promise.” Dean said as he handed Cas the medicine and the cup of tea. Cas groggily looked at the items and took them. Then as he laid back down he sighed and said,

“I’m sorry Dean. Y-you probably never wanted a freak like me for a roommate. I’m sorry.”

“Cas, what are you talkin’ about? You know what, never mind. You’re delirious. Just get some sleep okay?” Dean replied, Cas frowned yet he couldn’t stop as he slowly began to drift off ,but before his head reached the couch he did something that he would later forget. Cas reached up, grabbed his roommates neck and pulled him down into a soft yet slightly sloppy kiss. Dean’s eyes shot open wide as Cas’ blue one’s shut slowly. Cas’ lips were dry but they were far from unpleasant. The young man clung to Dean’s neck and pulled Dean in closer as he slipped his tongue past Dean’s tender lips. Dean couldn’t help the moan that escaped him and Cas gave a delirious grin into Dean’s soft feminine lips. When the two finally parted Dean was out of breath and a groggy Cas lazily tugged on Dean’s lower lip with his teeth. Then a moment later, Cas was dropping from Dean’s neck onto the couch unconscious.

The next day Castiel awoke and was feeling dazed but he undoubtedly felt better than when he had first got home. He still had a headache, and a runny nose and a slight cough but he wasn’t really worrying about his health as much as he was about Dean. Cas looked around the room in a haze and seen an empty tea mug on the coffee table. _When did I drink that?_ There were also various tissues strewn across him and the couch.

 _Where is Dean? I need to talk to him. The last thing I remember is telling him that I was sorry for being a freak. I am such an idiot. I can’t believe he took care of me last night…Why would he do that if he thought I was a freaky gay pervert?...He probably felt sorry for me. He’s too nice to me._ Cas sighed.

“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Dean said, he seemed cheery enough, but something was off in his voice. Cas wasn’t sure what it was though.

Dean had come in and saw Cas and then promptly felt depressed. He had been taking care of him all day yesterday and all through the night, giving him tea and medicine and water. He tried to forget what Cas had done before Cas had fallen asleep, and he simply chalked it up to his roommate being delusional from his sickness and left it at that. So instead he focused on Cas’ health, he made sure Cas got to the bathroom okay when the liquids got to him and he even brought him a puke bucket around 4am when he heard Cas dry heaving along with his harsh coughs. Dean had felt needed and useful the past 12 or so hours and now Cas seemed to look better. Much better. And even though Dean was happy Cas wasn’t sick and feeling crappy anymore, he also was sad because now he would go back to being a useless Neanderthal.

“Dean.” Cas said and his voice was even lower than usual due to the frog in his throat. Cas cleared his voice and coughed then began again.

“Dean, I don’t know what I said or did last night. I might have said some weird things that I don’t remember.”

“Don’t worry about it Cas. You didn’t do anything weirder than usual.” Dean tried to say nonchalantly.  

“I’m serious Dean… I think…I think we should talk about what happened yesterday.” Cas stated. Dean froze, at first he thought maybe Cas meant the kiss but the look on Cas’ face said otherwise. Still Dean felt apprehensive.

“Cas, I don’t really want to talk about that.” Dean said firmly as he started to turn away. But Cas got up off the couch and walked over to Dean before he got too far.

“Dean we _need_ to talk about this.”

“Maybe _you_ do. But all _I_ want to do is forget the whole thing.”

“Dean, I know you must think I’m some freak with the way that I…I stood there…” Cas didn’t want to say this out loud but he felt he needed to, if he was going to leave he at least had to push through this.

“What? Cas, I don’t think you’re a freak! Why would you think that I would think that?”

“It’s only natural to think that of me, isn’t it?  I mean, look at you! You’re so confident and brave and smart and you know what you want out of life and I’m some nerdy, gay college kid who’s a hot mess compared to you! I don’t even know I want to major in!”  Cas practically screamed.

“Are you kidding me?! I’m a fucking loser! I dropped out of high school when I was 17! I got a mechanic job and I’ve wanted to start my own business for 3 years but I’m too much of a cowered to even _try!_ I’m nothing like you think I am! You are so much more than I will ever be! You have so much fucking potential. You have your entire life ahead of you, with nowhere to go but up!”  Dean shouted back.

Silence fell over the two men and it stayed like this for a full minute until Cas began to uncontrollably cough. Dean took an unconscious step forward and reached for Cas’ face then stopped before Cas could see him do anything. Cas looked up then to see Dean looking at him. Cas sighed and then let a small smile emerge.

“So I guess we’re both a hot mess then, huh?” Cas said in a croaky voice. Dean felt himself ease a bit and smiled too.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He chuckled. For some reason all the worries that both men had been obsessing about. Cas’s fears that Dean thought he was a freak and would hate him for being gay and Dean’s qualms with being inadequate for Cas seemed to melt away from them both as soon as their eyes connected. And in that instant both men thought the same thing to themselves.

_He might not like me the way I like him, but I’m happy that he likes me the way I am._


	17. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY! So because of Sherlock The Last Vow (and other things) the chapter is today. THANK YOU! For all your awesome comments and I'm think about doing more stories (supernatural and sherlock) so if you have any prompts for those you can message me on tumblr (my url is)   
> 221bsexyst  
> thanks again! :D

The Day before New Year’s Eve

“I’m glad you can come, Cas. Okay, I-I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Sam hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief. He looked over at Gabe who smiled at him.

“So he’s coming to the New Year’s party?” Gabe asked, Sam smiled and nodded.

“And he didn’t sound like he hated me when we talked on the phone.”

“Well I’d hope so, we all spent Christmas together and he seemed to be alright then.” Gabe replied.

“I know, but I still want to be cautious…  Anyways, what do we still need?” Sam asked as he crossed Gabe’s hotel room.

“Well, I already rented out a few rooms of the hotel to have the party, and the hotel is providing food. But I still need to get a DJ and I also need help getting Anna and Mike here.”

“You’re sister and brother? I thought your father forbid them seeing you.” Sam replied in a worried tone.

“Don’t worry about it, pops will never know. Can you drive out to the studio on the East end and get the DJ for me?” Gabe asked.

“Well, I don’t have my car with me but I’m sure Dean won’t mind if I borrow his.” Sam chuckled.  

“You are one bold brother.”  Gabriel replies as gets up on his toes to give Sam a kiss.

~*~*~*~

Castiel hung up the phone and looked over at Dean who was laying on the couch listening to the ipod that Cas got him for Christmas. It was most likely ACDC or some other group Cas hadn’t really listened to. Cas walked over to him and watched as Dean banged on imaginary drums with his eyes shut tight. Cas grinned, he liked watching Dean, especially when Dean thought no one was looking. He hunkered down next to Dean next to the couch and poked him in the upper arm. Dean jumped a bit and looked over at Cas.

“Dude, I was rockin’ out Cas.” Dean said with mild annoyance.

“Sam called, apparently my brother is having a New Year’s party at his landowners expense. He’s having it at the hotel he’s staying at while his place is being renovated or something and he wants us to come.

“I dunno Cas, I was kinda hoping to just stay home. I wasn’t really planning on going out.” Dean said with hope. He had kind of just wanted to stay home with Cas and hang out with him. Dean found that since the snow in and their big “chick flick moment” Dean wanted to stay with Cas more than he wanted to hang out with his work buddies…Or any of his other friends for that matter. He knew Cas didn’t like him the way he liked Cas, but he still wanted to be near him. That wasn’t a crime, right?

“The thing is I might have already told them that we’d be there. I just assumed you’d want to go since you like parties and things and I wanted to make sure Sam was reassured that we were on good terms again.” Cas replied. Dean sighed.

“I’m sorry, I should have made sure that you wanted to go as well.” He said as he slowly stood up.

“Nah, it’s fin,e really. I could do for a party. Meet some people, maybe get to kiss someone at midnight.” Dean replied, it wasn’t like he was purposely trying to hint at it to Cas, flirting was just kind of second nature to Dean. Unfortunately, Cas didn’t quite catch it and in turn felt jealous while saying

“I’m sure any girl would go crazy for New Year’s kiss with you, right?”

Confused, Dean just awkwardly nodded and said,

“Uh, yeah..Sure.”  as he scratched the back of his head.

“So we can uh, carpool if you want. To save gas, if you want.” Dean suggested after a moment. Cas sighed and nodded.

“I’m going to make some macaroni and cheese, would you like some?”

“Sure.” Dean said as he tried to figure out what had gotten into Cas all of a sudden.

New Year’s Eve 6:00pm

“Dammit Sam! You took my car?!”

“Sorry Dean, I used it to get the DJ yesterday and I forgot to return it to you. You weren’t even supposed to know it was missing.”

“Oh wow, that makes me feel _so much better._ Well, how are Cas and I supposed to get to your damn party?”

“Cas has a car doesn’t he? Just take that one.”

“Are you kidding me! That hunk of junk!”

“Hey! I heard that!” Cas piped up from inside Dean’s closet, Dean glanced over at Cas who was bent over in his closet looking for a jacket, Dean smirked and turned back to the phone.

“Fine, but if we explode before we get there, you only have yourself to blame.” And with that Sam chuckled and hung up.

The hotel was on the other side of town so the two friends had a while to drive before they got there. And about 5 minutes after they got on the road the car began to make an odd noise. Neither of them said anything, but they both noticed it. About 2 minutes after _that_ they were on the side of the road with a smoking engine.

“I thought you fixed it!” Cas said as he got out of the drivers seat. Dean got out as well and walked to the hood of the car.

“I fixed your oil tank…” Dean began as he opened the hood.

“ _This_ is your fan belt. It’s about to break. If we don’t get something to keep it together with we won’t even make it halfway there.”

Cas sighed and his breath came out in a puff of condensation. Dean couldn’t help but stare as he watched Cas’ rosy cheeks puff up and blow more air out of his cracked, pink lips.

“Can you fix it?”

“w-what?” Dean asked quietly as he stilled stared at Cas’ lips.

“Can you fix it?” Cas repeated looking up from his cold hands as he rubbed them together.

“Oh..uh, yeah.  I think so, just give me a minute.”  Dean looked away and unbuckled his belt.

“Um, Dean? What are you doing?”  Castiel asked with wide eyes.

“Your fan belt broke, we have to replace it or your car is gonna keep overheating. My belt should be skinny enough to replace it temporarily until we get to the hotel. We can take the Impala home and have Bobby send a tow for it later.”

 

“Oh.” Cas nodded. It didn’t really understand what Dean was talking about, but he trusted him.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Dean grinned and pulled his belt out of the loops. He then  proceeded to bend over the engilne and work on getting the belt into place. That’s when Cas found himself staring at Dean’s backside. _Castiel, you have to stop this. Dean is straight, and you swore off straight men, didn’t you? You can’t go through the same thing you did with Sam. You can pine over Dean while he goes on dates with attractive women while you stay at home, all alone. It’s not healthy._ He thought to himself. _But he does have a very attractive ass._

The party was in a large rec room in the hotel that was roughly the size of three of their apartments. And there were already at least 50 people there, and counting. It took Dean and Cas ten minutes to find Gabe and Sam and when they did it was almost impossible to hear them over the DJ.

“You out did yourself this time Gabriel.” Cas said.

“WHAT?” Gabe yelled over the music.

“I SAID, YOU OUT  DID YOURSELF. IT’S LIKE A CLUB IN HERE.” Castiel replied. Dean coughed to cover up his laugh at how cute he found Cas to be while trying to communicate over the music. Cas raised up on his toes and leaned in as he tried to talk to his brother.

“OH THANKS. BUT I STILL HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! FOLLOW ME.” And with that Gabe and Sam began to walk away so Dean and Cas hurried to follow through the crowd. The neon lights were flashing and Cas uncomfortably squeezed through sweaty bodies. Dean noticed that one particular man was finding it difficult to let Cas pass by him without trying to grope Cas’ ass, so Dean gave him a discreet reminder in manners as he grabbed the man’s wrist and twisted just as Cas slipped past him. Thankfully the pounding bass of the song covered the man’s pained cry.

When the four men got out of the rec room and entered a side room Cas’ eyes grew wide when he saw what was waiting for him.

“Anna? Michael?”

“Castiel!” Squealed a young red head as she ran across the room and hugged Cas tightly around his neck. Castiel was still a bit shocked but he wrapped his arms around her as well and smiled.

“Anna.. I’ve missed you.” He said and the pulled away from her so he could see her face.

“But how?” He asked tilting his head to the side in confusion. Then he looked at Gabe.

“How did you get them here?”

“Michael snuck them out of the house while I picked them up. Dad thinks Anna and Michael are at their friend’s houses. “ Gabe replied as Michael came over to give his brother a hug.

“It’s very good to see you both.” Cas said hugging them.

“Well, it’s only 8pm, we still have four hours to PARTY!” Anna cried enthusiastically.

“I forgot she was more like Gabe then the rest of us was.” Cas laughed.

“Well, you heard her. Let’s go back out to the party.” Dean added slapping a hand on Cas’ back. Cas looked over at Dean with a big smile. Anna rushed out of the room with Michael chasing after her to make sure she didn’t get into too much trouble and Sam started to follow. Dean still held his hand on the small of Cas’ back uncounciously as he followed him out the door behind his brother. But before he could leave the room Gabe pulled Dean aside.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to tell him you helped get Anna and Mike here by letting Sam take your car to get the DJ?”

“Nah, he doesn’t need to know.” Dean smiled.

“Okay if you insist.” Gabe replied as he started to leave.

“Oh and Gabe?”

“Yeah?”

“If you hurt my baby brother, you’re gonna have me to deal with.” Dean said with a cold face. Gabe swallowed loudly and nodded.

“Gotha Dean-o.” He replied. Dean glared at him and Gabe corrected himself.

“I understand. Dean…” Dean held his gaze a moment more then broke into a wide smile.

“Good! Now let’s go join the others.”

For the next 3 hours Castiel thoroughly enjoyed the limited time he had with his 16 year old sister and 18 year old brother. Cas danced with Anna for a while until she was too tired and went to talk with Gabe. So Cas went to talk with Michael and asked him so many questions that by the end they both needed a beverage. So Castiel went to find the food and drink table around 11:00pm, he pushed pasted dancing bodies and girls flipping their hair around wildly and finally he reached the table.

All the while Dean was watching him from not even 10 feet away. HE watched as Cas stumbled over a girl’s high heels and apologized profusely to her. He had watched when Cas suspiciously eyeballed the guy who had tried groping him earlier, relieved that the man stayed away. And when Cas finally made it to the buffet Dean smiled and started to walk over to him with a beer in hand.

He wasn’t exactly sure what his intent was when he got there but Dean somehow felt like he was on a mission. Maybe he should ask Cas to dance? No, that’s not like him at all…Or maybe he should suggest going somewhere quiet so they could _talk._ No way! That made his sound like a skeezball. Whatever it was he better figure it out fast because he’s just…about…to…reach…him…and…Dean reached out to tap Cas on the shoulder when the DJ’s music scratched and the lights flickered on. Dean looked over, as well as Cas, toward the DJ’s booth and to Cas’ horror found a tall man, with grayed hair and distinguished looking clothes and glasses.

“Father?” Castiel whispered in horror.

“ANNA?! MICHAEL?! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE! I KNOW THAT YOUR DEVIANT BROTHER TOOK YOU AWAY. COME HERE THIS INSTANT!!” Yelled the man into the microphone.

“That’s your dad?” Dean whispered to Cas, but it was too late, Cas was already pushing through the crowd to try and diffuse the situation.

“Aw crap, this is not gonna end well.” Dean muttered as he followed suit.

And he was right, when their father did get Anna and Michael he all but dragged them out by their collars kicking and screaming. Michael was yelling about how he was an adult and Anna threatened to runaway and it was a very loud affair. Gabriel, Castiel, Sam and Dean all followed Mr. Novak out to his car trying to convince him not to be so harsh on the teens, but he was having none of that. When he got the kids into the car he spun on his heels and glared them all down.

“It’s one thing to live this horrid lifestyle yourselves, but to force _children_ to be as _unmoral and vile_ as you all are is unacceptable! I should have you all arrested for kidnapping!” He growled.

“We didn’t force them sir!” Sam protested so Mr. Novak pointed in his face.

“ _YOU. You’re the reason Castiel is the way he is. You and his brother.”_ The man scowled at Gabriel with eyes that were black and cold.

“Father! It’s not his fault! It’s nobody’s fault, because it’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Castiel wasn’t even aware he was saying the words until after they were out.

“What did you say?” Mr. Novak turned toward Cas.

“The sooner you realize that there is nothing _wrong_ with your sons the better. Someone very wise once said  that no parent should ever make their child _fear_ them. It’s not right! No matter what the parent thinks, no matter what they want, they should never shame their kids like you have done to Gabriel and I. Parents should love you no matter what, because that’s what family is. And I deserve a better father than you. _No one_ , especially not my father, should treat me like this.”

The elderly man stood there for a moment, unable to move, but when he did Castiel was not prepared for the fist that connected with his face.

~*~*~

11:50pm

Cas slouched on the balcony of his brother’s hotel room and looked out over the city. It was actually a very beautiful, although it was hard to appreciate through one swollen black eye. He tiredly brought the pack of ice back up to his face when he heard the hotel door open and shut.

“Gabriel, I said I wanted to be alone for a while.”

There were soft footsteps through the room and then he heard Dean’s voice from just behind him.

“Yeah, but it’s more fun to be alone together, dontcha think?” Cas couldn’t help but smile and nodded. Dean stepped up beside him and leaned on the balcony railing.

“Is he gone?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, and he took Anna and Michael, too.”

Cas nodded solemnly.

“I suppose I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere with him. But I felt I had to at least try.” Cas sighed.

“You did good Cas. Trust me, those kids are gonna remember what you said even if your dad doesn’t’. I think you gave them the courage to stand up to him.” Dean said as he glanced over at Cas in the dim light.

“You really think so?”

“Well you did tell them some pretty wise words.” Dean grinned. He had felt so proud that Cas had actually listened and retained what Dean had told him.

“Well, I heard them from a wise guy so-“ Cas teased and they both chuckled.

“Yeah, well…You were pretty brave.”  Dean lowered his gaze to Cas’ lips unconsciously licking his own, then he looked back up at Cas who was watching him intently. Dean’s eyes grew wide and neither of them spoke for a moment.

“I mean, if my dad found out that I was into a particular guy, he would have probably had me killed or somethin’.” Dean said awkwardly, with a nervous laugh. Castiel leaned in a bit closer to see Dean’s face better in the dim light.

“Yeah, if in fact you _were_ into a particular guy.” He replied watching Dean’s eyes dilate.

“Which you’re not.” He added in almost a whisper. Dean swallowed and Cas watched his throat bob. From downstairs the two men could faintly hear the countdown to the new year. _10…9…8…_

“Yeah, I-If I were. Which I’m totally not.” Dean murmured as he took a step closer to Cas, filling the only space in between them. _7…6…5…4…_

“Yes, because you are straight.” Whispered Cas as he tilted his head slowly to the side. Dean leaned in and slowly closed his eyes. _…3…2…_

“Yeah.” Dean muttered

“But if you weren’t then I would probably…do something…like this…” _…1…_

This kiss, unlike the one before, Dean knew that Cas would remember. And this kiss, unlike the one before, was tender and not at all sloppy. All the other person could feel was the caring and raw emotion that the other felt.

_His lips are so soft._ Castiel thought to himself. _Almost like a girl’s…But it’s nice…I like his lips…I could get use to them._ Cas couldn’t help but smile into Dean’s mouth at the thought of being able to do this again. Dean was thinking similar thoughts as he brushed his lips against Cas’ rough ones. He didn’t mind that Cas’ lips didn’t feel like a girl’s. Actually, if he was to be perfectly honest, he preferred Cas’ lips to all the other one’s he had kissed.

Soon the kiss became more than simple brushes of lips and small caresses. It became heated as Dean opened his mouth and let Cas’ tongue in as it explored his mouth. Dean let out a moan that was not intended to be heard but he couldn’t help it. Cas smiled at this too and he wrapped held Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him more passionately than he ever thought he was capable of. When they finally pulled back for air Dean was awestruck at Cas’ face as it seemed to glow in the dim light. Then with a smile and a laugh Cas said

“Happy New Year.” 


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little Epilogue I wanted to do ~ Thank you all for reading my fic! It was really fun to read all your amazing encouraging comments and I hope that you like the pieces that I do in the future.

Castiel awoke to the morning light shining through the blinds and directly into his face. However this did not deter him from the wonderful mood he found himself in, mainly due to his post coital haze. He grinned, a big toothy grin and turned his face away from the hotel window and came face to face with two dazzling green eyes and long dark lashes.

“Did you know that you like to cuddle?” Dean asked in a mischievous tone. Cas giggled at that despite himself and played along.

“I was unaware of that Mr. Winchester.”

“Well, you do.” Dean replied with a smile as he scooted closer to Cas under the covers. Castiel couldn’t help but stare at Dean’s bare chest as the muscles worked to close the gap between himself and his new lover. Once Dean was up against Castiel’s warm body he gave him a slow, sweet kiss on the lips. This one was chaste compared to the ones from their night together. This kiss was a good morning kiss. Cas turned his whole body to face Dean and their naked bodies meshed underneath the sheets perfectly.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting hard again.” Cas playfully scolded Dean.

“What can I say? You’re body does things to me that no one else has.” Dean purred into Castiel’s neck.

“That’s an understatement.”Cas laughed at the reminder that he had topped for the very first time ever, as per request of Dean himself.

“That reminds me though, are you alright?”Cas added with concern as he watched Dean’s face.

“Actually, I’m not as sore as I thought I’d be, although I’m sure that has something to do with how carefully and how well you prepared me.” Dean whispered as he kissed Cas’ chest, which sent chills up the man’s spine.

“Yeah, well I hope you took notes because next time it’s your my turn.” Cas gasped as Dean sucked on his nipple. Cas reached down under the covers and tugged lightly on Dean’s hard on.

“Are you positive you’re ready for round two?”

“Wouldn’t it be more like round three or four?” Dean laughed. Suddenly Castiel’s cell phone rang from his discarded jeans. Dean sighed as Cas grumbled and leaned over the side of the bed to retrieve his phone.

“Hello?” Cas answered once he got the cell out of his pants pocket.

“Hello Castiel Novak?”

“Speaking.” Cas replied as he sat up in the bed. Dean scooted over to Cas’ ear and started to nibble on it as Cas tried to keep his composure.

“This is Dave from campus housing? A spot finally opened up in the dorms, if you’d like you can move in as soon as next week.”  

 As Cas listened Dean had worked his way down Cas’ jaw, and heading onward down his neck with sweet little kisses. Well, I say kisses, but some of them may or may not have been love bites. Either way Cas was barely able to speak, but when Dean finally let up and sat beside him leaning his head against his shoulder, Cas replied as such,

“Thank you very much for telling me about the opening, Dave. But I in fact have already found a place that I am very happy with.” Cas looked over at Dean who grinned up at him.

“And to be frank, I don’t think that anyone…” Cas leaned in closer to Dean.

“Could be as good…” He continued leaning in as he started to close his eyes and let the phone begin to slip from his grasp.  

“As my roommate…”

_Fin_


End file.
